sa...ree.... maa .... ga.... ree ....sa ...ri ... ga ....ree....sa

........"सर्वेपी सूखीनास्सनतु सर्वे संतु निरामया" this was a hymn that was embedded with music that i heard on a pleasant winter morning recently...... was enthralled by the composition...... so soothing ..... what a calming effect this has on a chaotic mind like of mine. As usual the same old haunting ghost of the inane thought process started kicking off.....music was on my mind.... i have always had this regret of not being musician.... the one and only regret of my life so far.... as they often say that "u always need to look at the big picture and trace it backwards " probably i also feel i need share a few thoughts......

...........As we believe in India MUSIC is a derivative of one of the most esteemed set of scriptures that has been there in the HINDU - the "SAAMAVEDA" . I kind of feel that i need delve a little deeper into the VEDAS at this point. There are basically four of them - the "RIG" "YAJUR" "SAAMA" & "ATHARVANA". These are considered to be "APOURUSHEYA" meaning no human is a cause for this. These evolved during the epic churning of the sea what is known as "SAMUDRA MANTHANA" and ofcourse the reason behind it would be the ALMIGHTY himself. Well, the first two of them deal with the hymns and prayers while the third deals with art and music and the fourth would deal with medicinal and black magic traits .... kind of voodoo.

Guess I am digressing from what i intend to write about. This happened a few days back when me and a couple of friends were just awake through a long lasting nightout plan. We were discussing on an issue that was related to do with a portal for music. Here, I come across some wonderful portals already existing and the amount of information i gathered was just simply incredible. The next that happened to me the next morning was the hymn. I was literally enthralled by the coincidence of the events. I was telling myself the most beautiful thing that ever the world could hear to was the music and nothing else.

.............I was thinking about the preferences of people who listen to various kinds of music...... classical, fusion, karnatick, hindustani, rock, pop, jazz, metal, heavy metal, death metal, thrash, black and what not.... of course there are innumerable kind of music that is soothing, enthralling and exciting every one every single day.

.........quite debatable but the fact is that any music is based on the Indian classical note " sa..ree..ga...ma..pa...da...ni" and on the other hand if one ever looks at the western classical one can see the exact notes "do...re..pa...so.....". Unfortunately am not really knowledgeable enough to go on further with the technicalities of the music.

..... thinking about this i go deeper into my contemplation...... is it the state of mind that one chooses to listen to the apt kind of music?...... I personally listen to metal when i want be kind of pepped up.... karnatic classical when i want my mind to be placated.... hindustaani to feel rejuvenated.... fusion to get lively...... all these kinds do have the greatest effect internally on any human though being of an external source..... and then something else struck me.... the attitudes that the musicians possess while they perform......it was just a kick and i was high on music yet again..... the attitudes is not the behavior of an artist physically.... it's the attitude in which they perform ........when one hears to the great "BHARATA RATNA" M.S. SUBBULAKSHMI ..... the attitude of her voice is absolutely "DIVINITY PERSONIFIED".... listen to Dr. M. BALAMURALI KRISHNA notice the "ARROGANCE " in the voice .....listen to Dr.K.J.YESUDAS..... notice "HUMILITY".... listen to MAHARAJAPURAM SANTAANAM notice " KNOWLEDGE"...... like wise go west listen to BRUCE DICKENSON notice the "PLEASURE"
...listen to OZZY OSBOURNE ..... notice "PLACATION"...... i know people call him the psychopath of the first order though...... and how can i forget the one of the greatest of em' all JIM MORRISON...... notice "INTOXICATION"....... and so on.... it also shows like wise when the greatest of the greatest perform on instruments as well.... but at the end of the day music is really something that soothes, calms down, aggravates, excites and does everything that none of the other things in the world can ever do except probably emotions.... what if the human is stoic it doesnt do anything to him/her as well.......

...........Looking at the way my thoughts kept flowing....... the only thing that keeps playing in the back of my mind is "ENDURO MAHAANUBHAAVULU..... ANDARI KI VANDANAMULU" composed by one of the all time greats "SHRI THYAGARAJA".....so true after all........
i think i need to end on this note of writing. note not the music... ..... alas .....wish i were a musician....... but i still dream of becoming one..... as OZZY says " i am just a dreamer i dream of better days"

Adieos

viva la vista

Obrigado

HASTA LA VICTORIA SIEMPRE

CHAOS CHAOS AND MORE CHAOS....................

..........it's been quite a while since i've been around here to probably script down the random thoughts that occurs...... hmmm should i say i was busy .... ......or should is say i was facing a deficit of thinking capital.....lolzzzz..... at this point i still do not have a title for this blog.......it's still kinda chaotic..... actually i was wondering it's been quite a while that i caught up with my friends also.... still asking myself the same question ....... am i busy?? am i tired?? or am i being ignorant of the fact how much these small things could actually mean to a human life?? is that the life i am leading at the moment ...... would that be called "living" or would that be called "existing" .....bur reconciling the fact that existing could be a phase which one has to pass through for living...... may be am consoling myself.....

......... but i guess through the years to come existing would definitely become living.... just wondering if i am putting in the right efforts at the right time.... yes, now i remember recently in one of the classes the professor was talking about the very fact how we tend to give reason to others that we are busy.... at least pose a false pretension of a mere affectation of being busy....
i guess one cannot really lie to himself/herself....... i reckon the fact that sometimes we tend to wait for a friend or a cousin in US to come online for hours together but we still cannot cross the road and catch up with a friend with whom you would actually share fond memories of your childhood..... are we still busy???

i still think i am digressing from the very fact that i thought i would script about..... ok i think i was focusing on something that was quite relevant to what happened in the class yesterday..... when the prof lit the spark of globalisation ........ and it actually kicked off a spark of some thought process..... it took me to a different plane of restrospection of the recent past of my life.... as i vaguely remember it was the 5th of November 2004 .... the first fest that was held at the abode called "RANGA SHNKARA" i witnessed one of the most beautiful plays I've ever watched it was called "PARAKRAMANA" . The very meaning of the word means invasion. This is a story of Spanish invasion of the Incan Civilization . The Spanish riot was lead by the legendary warlord "FRANCESCO PIZZARO" which led to the highest ransom ever payed in the history of mankind by the kind of Incas "ATAHU ALPA" who was revered the son of the Sun God. Cut to the present day world..... rapid globalisation has'nt left is far too behind in making a similar impact on our lives....... are'nt we paying up a far more huge ransom today....could be in terms of work culture, social responsibility.... values ..... what ever you term it as..... but as my manager always says "change is the only thing that's constant" so u better adapt yourself for the change and accommodate the change rather than crib.... so the focus is on well being in the globalisation. Cut to today .... need to get back home and do some studying... cos i need to keep apace with moving ahead peers of mine..... impact of globalisation on my socialization...should i say?.....

on the back of my mind there is one song playing now...............
" am waiting in my cold cell when the bell begins to chime...........reflecting on my past life it doesnt have much time.........cos at five 'o clock they took me to the gallows pole...... and the sands of time for me are running low"......... very true the sands of time are running low for myself too...... and still awaiting to get on to the gallows pole..... and i still struggle...... stuggle for existence so that i dream of living some day ... and dream far beyond my imaginations of reality to be faced......... another song humming on the back ground now " ........... i'm just a dreamer ....... i dream my life away....... i'm just a dreamer.....who dreams of better days "........ finally i wish if some one could really say when i've got on to the gallows...... "HALLOWED BE THY NAME".

singing off
Adieos

viva la vista

HASTA LA VICTORIA SIEMPRE

Another Brick In The Wall........

............. sometimes i tell myself that i've been doing nothing offlate..... i've been a vegetable all the while.... no challenges being accepted..... no tasks taken on hand ..... where's life heading to? is that my conscious pricking me that lazing around is'nt the best thing in the world???... ... so freaked out sometimes life seems to be...... it's chaos once again.... a lotta tasks on hand be it personal professiona goal oriented or what ever..... nothing's happening...... i think need to catchup with my dudes ...i think i have to do something regarding some project i feel which needs to kick off...but am not doing any freakin thing man.... i think i am just wasting out in this dytopia called office... did i ever reckon that i still do have a life that needs to be rejuvenated?? that needs to be reventured into??..... oh man where's life heading too....

i guess that's enough for the time being.... i came back here after a long time with a different thought altogether... but the interruption of thought process...... feel so disgusted when u have soo many things on ur head and ur still not able to get to touch ne one of them either.....

........ i was thinking about the on going altercations regarding the reservation and the protests and demonstration by the young doctors..... i was thinking if this was a sincere approach or a mere affectation .... a mere ostentaion ....... but then i soon got to know that they had a motive behind their effort.... the display of the altruistic effort of these doctors are very much laudable...... there are atleast a hundred of them fasting .... for their rights to be exploited.....
the act of coming out of their classes and holding a protest against the act of reservation is truly commendable...

recently i was talking with my professors at the college about the same issue and also about the indians taking a risk to have their own start up and growing it into a vision... a lot of discrepencies cropped up during the conversation..... the typical middle class mentality and all other crap....

.......on the contrary my thought process again kicked off in a direction which has always amused me.... i was yet again thinking.... thinking of Ramesh Ramanathan of the Janaagraha... look at that man ... one evident display of altruism... i heard he left a well paying job back in unca sam's place and got back here to do something for the society.... too freakin commendable....

i was thinking y not most of us can make an effort like that..... get out of the typical mentality.... but is there a way??? one gets soo much involved in personal stuff that he or she doesnt want to ever get out of it.... one is always thinking of how he needs to grow in his company... what property he has to acquire... which school he has to send his kids .... is there a niche that we have carved that we can reckon with in the evenings of the life before hitting the sacks??? is it??

back of my mind that song from Roger Waters still keeps playing.....

All in all ur just ANOTHER BRICK IN THE WALL......

yet another confession of a chaotic mind

desculpe - for the trouble

will write back soon

Obrigado



Hasta La Victoria Siempre

viva la vista

TURMOIL.....................................

Yet again here I come. I was disturbed, very disturbed. My thought process had yet again kicked off as often rather than seldom. I yet again came in face with the reality that I was hallucinated that I was plumed by the goodies of life. Here I was disturbed yet again. I thought I was in an anachronous state with regards to time. I felt I never belonged here in the first place. I yet again was contemplating and retrospecting. As he Bruce Dickenson says “Reflecting on my past life, it doesn’t have much time”, I felt I need to a lot more in life and need to grow a lot more, reach my destination ASAP because I feel am running out of time. After all the life is always a race against time. I was again lost in the chaos of thoughts. It led me back to those great men who achieved success, shot a goal, reached their destination and rose to the epitome of greatness of what their pursuit was.

I shed my thoughts off. It was time. My shift had ended; a long night had come to an end with the rays of the sun intervening with the dark world of mine. I said to myself its time I called it a day rather a night. I got up, shed my inhibitions of facing the bright new world as they say, rather the light. I informed the boys and left for the day. I said to myself that I needed to meditate to allay my brainstorming sessions of my contemplation.

I started my bike, left to home thinking I still have to come back to the same place in the very evening of the same day.

It was balmy Thursday morning rather a hot one. I felt that the summer had not hit this day yet. I reached home with a strong will to meditate. I performed my ablutions and sat down to concentrate on a vague point somewhere in the twilight zone which I always imagine being static and tend to concentrate on the same. Oh the entanglement of bunch of threads of chaos had struck me again. I could not concentrate on what I intended to do.

I was lost; I was overcome by the destitution of power to concentrate. As I sit still trying yet to concentrate on the vague point, I still felt that I did not belong here.

I finally started meditating. But yet I could listen a faint whine in the back of my mind, the frustration still persists..... the chaos still continues…. It’s persisting so much that I am just being banal and I am just not being able to put my thoughts across. Well, as I try very hard to concentrate thoughts keep coming back. I again question myself what I am doing in life at this point of time? My MBA degree to which I couldn’t get through to haunts me, the pain that I couldn’t make it to the theatre world hurts me more. I wanted to do more in life and not just work through the night. What’s happening with my life here?

I wanted to be an actor. I wanted to perform. So I wanted to be a part of the theatre. I wanted to be rich. I wanted to money. So I wanted to do an MBA. The plan was foiled. Those guys sitting on top there decided that they wouldn’t give me a call letter. I was disappointed, frustrated, fuming, pissed off with life, I wanted to break loose from the social constraints. I thought I will spend some time with my solitude. Those people back at home whom I call them as my own started grilling their teeth at my inefficiency. They don’t understand either that I am anachronous. I don’t belong to your damn society. I don’t want to be yet another software professional. I don’t want to make million bucks an year. Of course I want to be rich, rich in my own way. I just want to be rich that I can take care of my owns self. I don’t want to be an MBA. Leave me alone, I want to get lost. I want to be just myself. Oh freak show….. What am I doing?

These things kept coming back and back again and yet again while I sit there and trying to concentrate. I couldn’t concentrate any more. I left that place returned to my solitude. My contemplation of the existence and the survival and the struggle of the life started yet again. Does this happen with every one? Or is it the chaotic state of mind that makes me think this way? I often see others; they seem so happy and gay as they have achieved what they intended to. Have they really? Or is it a mere affectation of being gay? Doesn’t he … that man at the end of my street who is software pro who takes home something like 70-80k have some dreams which he feels like realizing it? Or did he never have a dream? Was what his present state was an ambition? C’mon he has been in that industry for more than 8 yrs now… he is still a senior coder… no inventions, no innovations , no contributions from his side to the industry…. Was this his ambition? Should I’ve had a dream which I had to nurture and go on to become a coder because that paid?

This is not happening, I said to my self. I came back to reality. I still am bogged down by that chaotic turmoil. Is there an end for this? Wavering thoughts wandering thought processes…. Does life has something better to offer to me? Does it? “August summer night…..soldiers passing by ….. Listening to the winds of change” smile across on my face…. This is so chaotic… the next moment “Hallowed be thy name” was running on the back of my mind…… thoughts again…. Will my name ever be hallowed? Will it?

Chaos chaos and more chaos….. Turmoil again…… There it strikes me two sayings from my college days… those were the best days of my life……”life is a bitch ….fuck it” on the contrary “nobody dies a virgin here…. Life fucks every one” … what a fantastic example how life can take a dual role. Anyway yet again on a balmy summer Thursday morning I felt life sucks…just sucks… call it gravity or myth….but life truly sucks…. Signing off… yet again a whole lotta crap which doesn’t make sense to anybody…….

Adieos amigos…… will be back again sooon with some more crap

Arrivederci

HASTA LA VICTORIA SIEMPRE

KANASU..... A DREAM

...............I'd been lazing around for a while a couple of days back.... was watching something really stupid on the idiot box which put me off to sleep.... rather would called it a slumber.... now i reckon that idiot box show was probably the best lullaby i'd ever lent my ears in a while.... wow man!! i slept like a log really..... to catch up with some good sleep seldom makes me lucky n happy.... hmmm i think i was scripting what happened a couple of days back... .. i dozed off into a deep slumber.... i guess i dreamt... what a vague dream it was !!! my god got up sweating..... previously i was watching a movie called "BANGRADA JINKE" . I dreamt about an excavation that i was cermoniusly performing in search of some ancient treasure..... shift of scenario to more of sepia colour mode.... i was an onlooking spectator of a conspiracy of a bomb being planted on a raliway track in the late 1930's to derail the oncoming train in which the viceroy of the them british occupied INDIA Lord Irvin was travelling.... an amazing conspiracy that gave goosbumps to millions of indians..... alas!!!! the conspiracy fails ....the revolutionaries are being chased by the police .... they assume that i am one of them too... i ran as fast as i could..... i was sweating .... just a gunshot heard and a bullet whizzes past my ears... i wake up sweating profusely.... courtesy of the second part of my mindboggling and a truely adventerous dream.... "AJEYA" a biography of one of the ultimate revolutionaries and a great son to mother india...... "CHANDRASHEKHARA AZAAD".

I did my usal chores after i got up and started with the usual contemplation that i do very often.... why people dream??? what is the logic behind the dreams... ... I guess most of the people know that it is the active work behaviour of the subconscious mind while the conscious mind is put to rest..... but why humans tend to remember the horrendous dreams that they have dreamt... why not the happy and gay(no pun intended) dreams.... why not?? then suddenly flashed something i had long read and forgotten theory proposed by "SIGMUND FREUD" the father of psychology... " THE DREAM INTERPRETATION"......

Here what it is...... i was happy once again... i found an affable result for my contemplation...
there would be to concepts that come into picture when a human is dreaming...... one can actually observe this in person.... the rapid eye movement (rem) & the non rapid eye movement(nrem)..... what happens and why we tend to remember a bad dream or a unpleasant dream and why not the affable amiable pleasant dreams.... i've heard ppl say that they do not dream at all... which i guess is very false as per the theory proposed by the mama freud(local slanguage).... the unpleasant dreams are remembered since it occurs in the rem period of the sleep ..... when the unpleasant happenings and the unpleasant activation of the subconscious mind grows stronger and stronger.... which is directly related to the dream ... .. so the man although in sleep or deep slumber is not calm n poise... usually humans tend to wake up with a fright or an unpleasant feeling after a bad dream... the reason is during the rem period both the subconscious and the conscious minds are both active and work in tandem... reciprocation of data as to put it in the comp related language happens.. and this is registered in the memory if the conscious mind....

a sweet dream is most of the times forgotten since it occurs durind the nrem period where the conscious mind is at rest and there is no reciprocation or the registering of the data from the subconscious mind.... lack of transformation of data...or loss pf packets in the neural network.... nrem is a period where the state of mind is absolutely like an iceberg.....cool and very beautiful to look at... and the feel is at peace.... it's a wonderful feeling one would wish to experience while working with the conscious mind....

oh!!!!!! not again.... why do i need to write this on my blog???? is it something that everyone can relate to??? ofcourse we all r humans atleast who care read my blog... yet another random thought of a chaotic conscious mind i would say..... turmoil everywhere are the words of the day...... oh!!!! not again.... i guess sometimes my alter ego takes over me.... no no suri i better stop before crapping some dirty crap about MPD... go away now....... but this time it makes me happy and i feel good that i've stuck to one language... and makes me proud of my profess about one language (although not even a percent).... stop stop stop!!!!!!!! grrrrrrrrr

PERCEPTION..............SO RELATIVE

heege maththe bareyona antha koothe....sumne heege maththomme manassinallirodanna geechona antha..... of course am being banal antha anstha ide...yen maadodu ond ondsala mind blank aagibiduththe.... mukthadalli CSP heltaralla haage..... this is again the state of a chaotic mind i guess..... neways let's cut the crap.... sumaaru dinagala kelage yeradu natakagalannu nodidde.... B.Jayashree tandada vatiyinda Chitrapata...... maththe innondu Benaka tandadinda eka vyakti prayoga Aahata by T.S.Nagabharana.
Chitrapata was such a beautiful play which made me think think and think again about a lot of things in life. Let me give u a glimpse of the play. After the whole episode of the Ramayana and when everything was going the happily lived ever after kinds... Shoorpanaki in disguise as Seetha's friend meets her and forces to tell her about the long dead Ravana... seetha denies that she had ever seen ravana... but after a lot of coaxing and forcing she admits to her friend that she indeed had seen ravana once.... her friend who being shoorpanaki in diguise now forces her to draw a sketch of ravana.....ofcourse one has to agree that ravana was a really handsome man though..... seetha draws the portrait of ravana without his eyes.... which she believes would make him alive again.... in the absence of seetha shoorpanaki draws the eyes and the potratit comes alive as ravana again.... what a radical idea that has been expressed here in this play.... amazing athyaadbhuta..... all the while when seetha is devoted to her husband Lord Rama.... she still carries that image, that persona, that picture of another handsome man, who being cruel of unjust or what ever had just become an undeleteable file on the registry of the hard drie of her mind.... goes to say that Ramanigaagi pathivrathe aagidrunoo kooda somewhere in the back of her mind she was still thinkng about RAVANA....

Aahata......

idu innondu extreme of thinking ansuththe... ee nataka baredirodu H.S.Venkateshamoorthy
here a character called Rudraachari is introduced who is a look alike of Duryodhana.. the poor soul rudraachari is just another theatre artist who wants to make it big in life.... he heads to Hastinapura in serach of his fortune... there he is abducted by the kingsmen and then he is trained to be the Duryodhana... the concept that the creator of the play has brought out is that duryodhana could be so bad that he can risk some one else' s life for his gain....

when some one sees these two plays... one can defintiely how much of thinking has gone into each one.... and how each creator has percieved the characters... one shows the darkside of the good character and the otehr shows the even darker side of a darker character.... now when i call the characters good or dark i think this is again perception rather i would disagree with it being as a common notion though... as it seems to me that perception is so relative... does ne one think how thin the line could be between the perceptions??? I guess one who lives on that thin line could be called a perfectionist..... but do u really find perectionists at all? Well again it happens very usually...very much in every one's life... sometimes we form an opinion about someone based on our perceptions..... and we assume that we are right again the assumption of us being right also seems to be a perception.... and the perception is usually so strong that one tends to get biased about his opinion , his thinking and his thought process is kind of stagnant... why dont we open ourselves to the world beyond perception.... why dont we just throw the boundaries of perceptions and assumptions .... why cant we start being perfectionists in the world where ppl dont really stand on the line.... lets live on the line ....lets become perfectionists......

UGADI...........

yuga yugadi kaledaru ..... yugadi marali barutide... hosa varushake hosa harushava hosathu hosathu tarutide.. hosahu hosathu tarutide... yuga yugadi kaledaru.........
indu Paarthiva nama samvatsarada phaalguna krishna paksha amavaasye..... varshada koneya dina.... Da.Ra. Bendre yeshtu chennagi heliddare hosathu hosathu tartutide antha... idu nijana?? doesnt this seem like paradox every time one comes across this concept of being new every year??? does this help one to forget his past?? does this help one to forget the mishaps of the precious year?? does it?? ............... last year my friend met witha fatal accident...can i forget that?? five years before another friend was electocuited alive..... can i forget that?? naavu saamanya vaagi bevu bella tintivalla.... notice maadiddira... kahi tumba hoththu ulidu biduththe baayalli... haage jeevanadalli kooda durghatanegalu kooda alva?? when the concept of neem and jaggery is to have an equal share of joy and sorrows ..... then y does one have to go thru more sorrows... y does it take eternity to erase out of the memory chip that god has assembled in us?? does this have an answer... when one is in a jovial mood... he may not be able to share with his comapnion...cos he is deep down burried in sorrows... instead if being humane he will share the sorrows of his companion.... does life really change with the new year, with a new era?? does it?? you will still face the same routines of life... the monotony of life... was it different before when our ancesstors initiated this practise of a new year.... although by calculations the terra firma might have finished it's revolution..... lets put it this way that it has completed a cycle of 365 days... was it different then?? did they really see a change in the montony of life?? did they shed their sorrows of the previous year... did they start life afresh??
i guess am being too banal... eega yeradu cubicle pakka nanna team supervisor koothiddane.... olleyavne... he is bound by the limits too... nodtha iddane naanu yen maadtha iddini antha.. maththe varsha todakina dina avana mukha node nodtini... manealli hale taapatryagalu mugidu hogtava indina dinakke?? naale yenu chintene irolva?? My dad's eternal nagging.... my brothers high raised voice against me... my mom worrying what i am doing really in life... will i go somewhere in life?? is there an end to all these at theend of any year?? but random thoughs again... i should say wandering thoughts... lemme go back to Da.Ra. Bendre... avarige probably peer pressure annodu irlilla ansuththe..... that could be the reason he started his life afresh every year.... Bendre master as he was called by most of his contemporaries as well as his niche circle of acquaintances.... avarige anyaya aagide annodu nanna bhavane... i personally feel that he is a better and a greater poet than KuVemPu .... ee novu yugadi yenu yuganthyada vareugu irode alva?? it goes to grave with me ansuththe... yello manassina hindina tumulagalu maththe haleya gaayada kaleyanthe yeddu kaanse kaansaththe alva? i think i am talking very much relative only to me... naanu helidanalla nanna team supervisor .... avanige ee varsha team manager aagi appraisal aaglilla anno koragu yugadiyondige marethu hogtana ... i sometimes pity this guy.... jeevanadalli sihi kahi samavaagirli antha nanna tande bevu bella kodtare prati varsha... ee varshanaadru adu samavaagirli antha yochistha iddini....

yuga yugadi kaledaru ....... yugadi marali barutide.....hosa varushake ...hosa harushada hosathu hosathu tarutide...hosathu hosathu tarutide... yuga yugadi kaledaru.............

TIME..................

yochane maadtha idde... officenalliddini... tejaswige patra baribeku....customer issue resolve maadbeku...MBA samachara yenaaythu antha nodbeku....idara madhye malagabeku... need to put this body to rest for sometime alva... idakkella time yellide antha yochne maadtha idde... aaga i came across a thought some unfortunate ppl .....but very fortunate though.... yenalla maadilla adu with in a small time... they rose to fame name and undieing popularity.... first thing that came across to my mind SRINIVASA RAMANUJAM ...... avaru badukiddidde 32 varshagalu.... what a man he was what he was gifted with is beyond imagination antha.... yello yaaro helida haage nenapu.... ramanujam avara hatra ondu sanna pusthaka iththanthe.... it was filled with theorems n theorems n theorems... yaaro proof yelli swamy antha keliddakke... avaru helidranthe... y fear when i am here antha... y do u need proof whem i am with u antha.... but unfortunately he isnt ne more... but the heights to which he rose in a span of 32 yrs ... what can ne body say about him.... illinda maththe drift aaythu manassu.... ashtallade heliddara daasaru manavemba markata antha....... drift aagiddaadru yellige Che Guevara de la serna annon obba mathamana kadege... marxist communist avanu..... avanu medical student ....can ne one believe that?? nam haage naavu namm maneyoru antha iddidre... probably one of the richest men in his community aagtidno yeno..... adella hogli bidi avanu fight maadiddaadru ... yaarige... for his motherland??? no he fought for some one else... for the cause of humanity... all this in just the 40 yrs he lived..... ivarannella nodidre naavu yaatarador antha ansaththe... but i was talking to my friend a coupla days ago... i was talking about doing some funding for some kids... he had to say was the way of living... he said y dont u do that for urself first antha.... but one will definitely do something for himself all the time rite.... there has to be some extent of altruism in every one ...some where... some time... when u look back ..... one needs to see what he has given to the society back right???.... oh am deviating again... i guess this suits my blog title..turmoil.... chaos ..chaotic state of mind.... but then time again is relative not just two different individuals but to each individual himself/herself ... time frame could be long enough to do things and ould be short enough to do either.... how i am cursing my inabilty of putting my thoughts across in words ....... chaos...chaos and total chaos... is the word of the moment... will write soon more that makes sense to ppl....

creation......evolution of a single celled ameoba to the blogspot

....... err this has been probably the first ever post some one or rather myself is writing .... well i never knew how i would create a blog for myself......then i came across a friend venkatesh... he guided me to create this page of mine for myself..... idolle chikka maklu keltaralla nangnangenaa antha aa tara aaythu nodi... as i told u creation of this blogspot traces back to those days of an unicellular organism called the ameoba... which evolved to be probably multicellular organism... and so to the ape.... my ancestor... nanna kolajja...neanderthals.... paleolithic man...stone age... yen yeno...first civilisation in the basins of the river nile...the greatest of the rivers where man evolved.... then a lot again... indusvalley .... harappa mohenjadaaro civilisation... aryans dravidians... samskrutha...tamil...kannada... oh my gawd.... that's where probably i find my roots ansuththe....kannada...sirigannamdam gelge.....sirigannadam baalge... kannadada kanva b.m.sri heliddu idanna alva....howdu avare heliddu...... so rightly said..... but tracing back again... yelli yelli idelladara moola.... hege huttithu aa ondu unicellular organism...adakke munche yeniththu... what was there before that... who was there.... who lived??? was the terra mater filled with vacuum??? how can be something be created with nothing?? so how can something evolve out of nothing??? i guess this makes one to contemplate the existence of the supreme natural...super natural.. inhumanely natural force ...which has created that unicellular organism... whom i call GOD..... u call it wahtever i choose to call him the GOD... he exists ...definitely exists....matter cannot be created from anti matter or vacuum... so the super natural force is there and most definitely there..... i guess i will write some other time some more