Good Riddance

... Its been some time since I came back here. I wouldnt give myself an excuse that being busy in mundane activities kept me away from this most personal space of mine. It has been an itch over a last few days that I said something to this most personal friend of mine. Ultimately I am back here to scratch the itch off.
Good Riddance - thought not the right term that I could use, alas! I dont find a better one at the moment. Those couple of words mean something this - "An expression of pleasure on being rid of some annoyance - usually an individual." However I wouldnt claim that I've gotten over a period of annoyance because it was something that I always treasured to have against my name. Yes, this is my quite well earned post graduate degree. It brings out something that I've always recapitulated looking back in time, yet another display of defiance. I take quite a pride in achieving this feet in the journey of life. I treasure thee for the reason that I have just crossed all hurdles that came my way and clinging on to it tenaciously until I finished the race.
Yesterday was officially the last day when most of my compatriots and contenders in the race met for one last time. It was time for some nostalgia to spurt. I wonder yet if I would be still associated with the race that I have finished ever in a longer race called Life. Yesterday it was the day when most of my compatriots and contenders met for one final time at my alma mater. Nostalgia was the word of the moment. Emotions ran high. I have cherished every moment over the last couple of years. I wouldnt beat the point that I sailed all alone through the voyage. There were these men and women who were also very instrumental in rowing my boat to the shore.
The two years that just went past by have seen some vivid things in life, some horrible, some cherishable, some forgettable, some unforgettable. These two years have earned some friends for life. As they say "Till the Grave".
I see a life apart from this post grad degree. This was the question my that sprung up from no where in the grave of the night after yet another conversation over the phone. Is this what I always wanted to do? I see a life out there with umpteen number of interesting things and concepts that a man live a life time and not just exist.
I hope I can live that life and not just exist.

Good Riddance
Phaedrus

Age or Ageless

..... For quite a while off late I have been thinking about this concept called Age. For one I relate this concept to that same most trivial aspect of what is called as Life as brought about by far one of the most revered Philosophical entity who lived in this great country called Jiddu Krishnamurthy. That concept that I see a relevance with age is Time.
Can we call age to be subset of time? How is that we can define age as? what is age as a noun? Well here it becomes so very ambiguous and I find myself discombobulated with the whole thing. Is growing old is what you call Age? Or is that phenomenon of some accomplishment that has been carried out through one's life? Or is that duration of time that has been invested in this accomplishment? Yet again I find myself lost... it seems a whole lot of entanglement, overlap and chaos.
What is your age? The common notion or if I wish to call it as the response to stimuli in the society that I exist in would be " How old is this person?" who is in the context of being asked the question. The observation of the self is that not even in the sub conscious mind of the questioner there would be a thought "what is your achievement?"
An achievement or an accomplishment is actually irrelevant to the fact there is age is attached to it by commoners. So, ladies and gentlemen, this yet beautiful world of our's have seen flashes of lives as brilliant and as eye hurting as it happened during the "Fatboy" explosion at Hiroshima on the 6th of August, circa 1945 . Short lived flash....... eternal impact on the human race.
Here are men and women the world has witnessed who have lived for just a few years but they have impacted this very world to the eternity. "Che" lived only 39 years. What a life that was!!! Oh boy he till date is branded as the brightest spark of revolution that the world has seen and so shall he be till the world sees the doomsday. I wonder if ever anyone has questioned Che what's your age mate? But then I can vouch for the fact that nobody ever probably dared to put forth that question to the " Jim Morrison". He lived only as a stint.... 27 years. He was what one can call a Free Radical human star. What has he not done in life?? He got married too? He died when he was 27..... He lived there on eternally.... There are a whole lot of such people who lived for stint... killed themselves but lived on forever.....I could just rattle of few such names... Kurt Cobain, Janis Joplin, Jimi Hendrix ...... These are men & women who were born as commodities but went on to become a brand that would never phase out as long as Terra Firma would cease to exist. The icons started a cult that would live on and on.
Bhagat Singh, Sukhdev & Rajguru lived and died for their nation at an age much younger than the ones that have been mentioned afore. Ofcourse they lived on as well.
I felt that I was a part of the cult... thought that I may just end my life sometime soon... this very year was what i thought earlier... rather wouldnt have minded if I did so. Then I saw a few more people around who lived the life to the fullest even in terms of time... Those who wished they could live a little more longer so they could make this world that we live in a better place to live.
I think of that old woman who has a zeal to live who teaches her grandkids the value of livelife in values. Well this is just another woman who doesnt have a face but when questioned why she wanted to live for a few more years says "there is that world , that beautiful world I want my children and grand children and their children to see which I have seen. I need to live because I can give them what it takes them to retain the beautiful world that I have lived in". Here is this woman who no one knows who is unheard of, but she has left a cult back that may retain her beautiful world.
A few incidents in the recent past in the life of the self who had always been thinking that the end is the reality has changed the way how the self looks at things now. I have a motive to live. I have a life to live. I have to give my successors, my companion atleast this beautiful world that I live in.
I must admit that there are four kinds of people who live in this world. Ones who live for short and live on forever, ones who live for long and cease to exit there on, ones who live for short and forgotten an one who live long and live forever towards eternity. But the question comes back yet again what is your age?

or

Is it Age or Ageless ?

Signing off
Phaedrus

and the

Actor.... Theater... Life

..... In 1993 a few months after people were awarded the best in their categories for their exemplary work in the year 1992 at the "Oscar Academy Awards" a strange incident took place. As heard, A man met his co actor in a gathering and found that the co actor, although not awarded but was still appreciated for his characterized performance and said something to him. Here it is what he said "I heard that you were fantastic son, I am sorry I couldnt congratulate you since I never saw your performance, remember I played a Blind Man". The man who said this was Al Pacino and who heard was Chris O'Donell . The movie in context was "Scent of a Woman". Now that is what I call performance. Al Pacino played Col. Frank Slade in the movie who is a blind man and Chris O'Donell plays Charlie Simms. That is the commitment of an actor as i perceive. Apparently Al Pacino used prosthetic contact lenses so that he could fake his performance.
Well I knew who Al Pacino was from quite sometime, but little did i know about him. Hence I went ahead googling on Al after I heard this anecdote. Lo Behold! what I found was the dearest to my heart. I gathered that Al used to perform in the theater before he moved to the big screen.
Theater is something I believe can produce the finest actors on Terra Firma. I can stand up and vouch for my statement "Actors are from the Theater, Others are mere stars". I regret that I am not a part of that world now. I was though belonging to it in my past. I have been a witness to umpteen number of plays. I cherish every moment of the time that i have been associated with the theater directly or indirectly.
Those movements, the stage occupation, the histrionics, the music, the presence of mind exhibited by the performers, in short every aspect of the theater holds me captive till date. When I started off being close to the theater I had converged my thoughts only towards the point of enacting the roles that were designated to the actors. Little did I know that theater was much beyond the acting as well. Theater has probably been an integral part of every society from aeons probably much before than man could even count leave alone scripting. The local moral stories may have been performed as plays. This kind of an art form is practised in the Management Institutes to an extent till today. Then the theater refined itself to be an incomparable art form. As my quest for knowledge as aligned to theater grew, i can relate that state of mind more to an earthworm. The more you chop the more it grows. Hence I started to be a little more educated on this front. Along with the acting comes a lot more other things. The costume designs, the stage settings , the music that goes with the play, the art direction, lastly the most important aspect of a play, the concept or the plot of the play. Art direction was something that inherited as a learning from a dear friend of mine who had worked for umpteen number of years for "Rangayana" in Mysore. The concept of a play is what keeps the audience ticking.
Has anybody in India ever thought that Seeta may have been thinking about one of the most handsome man she has encountered in her life, Ravana, although she had just caught a glimpse of Ravana in the disguise as an ascetic. Infact, her thoughts about Ravana are instigated by Shoorpanaki in disguise well after the Kind and the Queen started living happily ever after. I just fell off my chair at the end of this play when Seeta actually draws the painting of Ravana impeccably accurate and the painting comes alive. That was the play "Chitrapata" directed by the one of the most brilliant actresses that India has seen "B.Jayashree". I admit that this concept is very radical when the target audience are Indians. So be it. "The Blue Coffee Mug". How does that sound? inane, abstruse, abstract, irrelevant....?? I would advocate it to be a revelation. It was the actors of new genre who came up to put up a play with a phenomenal message that can keep the audience awestruck with their fingers on the nose point. What started of as a comical histrionics by a man who suffered from amnesia, a man who is not grown up to his age and a man who seemed to sensible sent a message to the audience that the riots in 1992 was unwanted, the child abuse around the world and in India is uncalled for. A few of them around me were moved to tears. I have a lot more to say though about the concepts but will stop right here
I very well know that every one in this world knows that there is a difference between the big screen and the world of theater. Ofcourse this includes the fact the there are no retakes in the theater and other mundane stuff. There is more to it. An actor on the stage is actually interacting with the audience unlike the the tinsel town figure. A play like "Maya Seeta Prasanga" which was directed by the most revered entity of the Indian Theater M.S.Sathyu for Rangayana which is corroborated by bringing in the element of "Kathakali" into the play which is a little obscure although not obsolete. The postures in the play enforce that the actors are meant to be statues for the entire duration of the play. Having an audience right in front of you who may not like this kind of adaptation who may even consider it to be some kind of adulteration can always be a taunting one. An actor on the stage has to bear all the tantrums that the audience exhibit and yet come out as a winner.
Oh! I can just keep scribling around her about what i love for ever. So shall abruptly end here. Work is an excuse that I have to get back to....some other time

Phaedrus

Game ... Set ...... Match

.... On a balmy summer afternoon, a thought just struck my top floor. I all of a sudden remembered one of those anonymous Mills & Boon books i had read as a kid (ofcourse i read quite a few of Mills & Boon as well). Well what seemed to be a bunch of crap all the while after i deserted the M&Bs to grow to read some thing more real and hard hitting, came back just as a point blank thought. I remember in one of those inane conversations that a woman has with her friend in one of those M&Bs with her friends that she wants a man who would be Tall, Dark and Handsome as her life partner. The man should possess thighs and legs as that of a Tennis Player. There it was!!! Tennis is one such game which enforces any human playing the game to possess the best of the Physic and the human must be an epitome of stamina. I cant remember since when i've been following tennis from, although I never ventured into the sport personally. As far as my reminiscence is accurate the first ever time I watched a tennis match was the French Open finals in 1987 on Door Darshan when i was all of six and a few months, while my brother who coaxed into watching was around 11ish then. I knew nothing about tennis, I knew nothing about who played the game, I knew nothing about where in the world it was being played. I was what some one can call as "Innocent". The reigning queen of the world of tennis then Martina Novratilova had lost to a 16 years something kid called Stephanie Graf. I knew neither, but the flouroscent colored ball traveling from one court to another hooked me on. Then it had been tennis all the way. No, I am absolutely no historian of the game. I watch the game out of sheer passion. I dont feel deprivation of not being part of it. I feel this is one game that can bring out the character of sportsman.
Tennis has always had repetitive fights for the titles by the same players. One could witness the same players facing each other in the finals of every Grand Slam. If some one is an aficionado of the game, then he or she may have witnessed the clash of titans, Federer and Nadal battling it out for the title umpteen number of times. One can hear words like "The King of Grass" taking on the "King of Clay" or "The Artist" fighting "The Warrior". This is not just the case post 2005 till date. Every era of tennis has seen these kind of battles. I can name a few though. Jimmy Connors v/s John McEnroe, Boris Becker v/s Ivan Lendl, Pete Sampras v/s Jim Courier, Pete Sampras v/s Goran Ivanisevic, Pete Sampras v/s Andre Agassi, Steffi Graf v/s Martina Novratilova, Steffi Graf v/s Gabriela Sabatini, Steffi Graf v/s Monica Seles, Jana Novotna v/s Conchita Martinez ....and so on
Tennis is not just about stamina, power and physic. It is a beautiful sport. The elegance with which it is played is as important as the sustenance. Frankly, I dont like watching Nadal play. He is raw power and nothing more. So are the William sisters. I was having a chat about them with my brother the other day and I felt they have to be included in Men's Tennis instead of Women's. Trust me tennis cannot be elegance and style when played with both the hands being used for a back hand return. Tennis can never be of style if there are no chops and slices while being played. Tennis can never be beautiful if a game is not won just by playing on the base line.
The epitome of beauty in the game of the tennis since I ever started watching tennis inclusive of men and women is any day the erstwhile numero uno Stefan Edberg. He is called the "Swan in Motion". I advocate that it is most deserved by him. I've never ever seen him use a double handed back hand return for a winner. Never. His serves although not very powerful but still were the culmination of style. So were Edberg's shots and returns. For me, the world of tennis brings a sportsman whose work was exemplary and probably one of the best sportsman ever born inclusive of all the sports in the world from aeons. "Agility thy name Boris Becker". His ubiquitous presence on the court was truly mesmerizing. I would not be prudent enough not to mention the belief that "Nordic Race is the best ever created" as quoted by Adolf Hitler" if its Boris Becker, Steffi Graf, Michael Schumacher, Franz Beckenbaur etc are the kind of people who represent it. As far as i can go down the memory lane, It is Boris Becker who still holds the record for being the youngest champion at the most elite grandslam of the world of tennis, "The Wimbledon". As an aficionado of the sport myself I would like to recollect the great "Sir Arthur Ashe", the first coloured player to win the title at the Wimbledon. Those were still the days of racism and apartheid. Determination and guts took Sir Ashe a long way. The world of tennis and the world in itself has commomerated the respect he deserves by naming the stadium "Sir Arthur Ashe Stadium" at "Flushing Meadows", New York.
Tennis can also be a little funny. A couple of anecdotes bring a smile on even today. Steffi Graf at Wimbledon was asked by a stranger " Steffi, Will you marry me?" while she was all ready to serve. Steffi Graf stops in between and responds "How much money do you have?".
John McEnroe was playing Pete McEnroe in the semi finals of the U.S Open. Two sets down to nil in the favour of Pete. John shouts "Cmon, Pete Mom asked you to lose". We all know that probably Calvin grew up to be John McEnroe. He was probably the best left handed tennis player the world has seen, ofcourse not to mention Novratilova who was equally awesome. He infact won the U.S Open that year not just beating Pete but also Connors, i guess.
With the advent of probably what can be called as the new era in tennis, the style and elegance seemed to take a back seat. This era was called Power Tennis, i guess its called the same now as well. When for the first time we saw women like Monica Seles, Martina Hingis and so on started with the double handed returns more often than seldom. It turned even worse when men like Jim Courier, Andre Agassi started that too. But still tennis was Tennis. I wonder if any one remembers women like Billie-Jean King or Chris Evert from probably the forgotten time frame.
How many of us would remember one of the greatest ever tennis players who took incarnation in the world by the name Bjorn Borg? He was probably the Jim Morrison of tennis, who rose to fame quickly and faded off even quicker. He had won every single grandslam played during his time and faded off when was all of 26..... an appalling situation for the world of tennis. Oh ! i think tennis can keep me talking and keep me writing the entire day. There are so many players so many stars, so many performers, so many tabloid materials, so many style icons, so many bad boys, what not ..... doesnt the world of tennis have?

Did i ever mention that one of the most beautiful women in the late 80's and early 90's came from the world of tennis. Not that she was enormously talented but she was extra ordinarily beautiful . She is beautiful till date. She is Gabriela Sabatini

Tennis would definitely be one of those sports that would rule the world of sports till eternity

Game ..... Set.......n ......Match

Phaedrus

Thoughts.....................

................... Federer was down 3 sets to zero against Nadal at Roland Garros, the YogaNarasimha Swamy idol looked kind of different yesterday at the divine sanctum sanctorum, the water at Narsimha teertha was not as clean as usual, Croatia was one up against Austria at the Euro 2008,
how would it actually be if MLV sang Jagadodhdarana instead of MS? R is joining a new firm in the next week, the flowers looked wonderful in the reception that was hosted by N for his brothers wedding, Raikonen and Hamilton crashed in the pitlane after Hamilton drove into Raikonens car although there was a red light burning at the end of the pitlane. The Giles Villenvue Circuit at the Canadian granprix was almost an anticlimax, the reminiscence of the joy experienced by the self on thrusday while getting drenched in an abrupt rainfall during the journey back to the college...what a feeling that was, the lady who is in her late 40s or early50s who lives across the street where my office is situated who religiously sticks to her regime of playing shuttle badminton everyday, the freak accident that N met with just prior to his brother D's wedding, I did the right thing by keeping the menu simple and tasty for the reception in my brother V's wedding as compared to N's brother's, so much of wastage though, the ecstatic feeling of being elated upon being introduced to "The Kapil Dev" by boss on tuesday, just felt as if i met one of the gods, suddenly i move from being stationary and look at the signature of the God that I had procured on V's card, how foolish was I looking taking the God's autograph on a visiting card, The future of the self unknown, scary, the cashflow, the resposibilities, the wedding of N's brother took place in the same place as that of my cousin P's just a couple of weeks back, the mother divine of the self explaining how scanty the population at the marriage hall was since it was an intercaste marriage, the complications involved not just in life but also the rites and rituals that are to be followed, my future soul mate??or is it going to be soul less mate?, Adrian Sutil of Force India team's freak mechanical failure at the Giles Villenvue circuit, how unfortunate he was at Monaco when Raikonen crashed into him from rear, neither of them completing the race, How would it be to have a fusion of Ian Anderson of Jethro Tull with Pandit Hari Prasad Chaurasia, the character of Madakari Nayaka from Durgasthamana who has lived and relived the history, Conversation with R & A about the artist called Gundappa Vishwanath over a soft drink on saturday night, the examination that followed the day after, Ana Ivanovic the beautiful won the French womens final, the tabloids said Dinara Safina was noway match to Ivanovic, I felt Dinara gave Ana a run for her money, Petrol prices hit a high of $139, when would the hybrid cars and the fuel cell cars hit the market with copious extents of commercialisation, the thoughts of cycling to work as soon as the education is done with although sweating and stinking, the attempt to be a moral citizen to an extent of as much as possible by reducing the traffic and pollution, dilemma of picking up a four wheeler in 2009, the printer ink has to be got for home, J at the college reminding me of getting the cartridge refilled at a meager price, the same remainder by A at the office, N's suit at the wedding was damn good, may be the self should have worn a tie as well at V's wedding. Bjorn Borg, the erstwhile swan in motion in the world of Tennis was present at the finals of French open between Fedrer and Nadal, Nadal beat Fedrer hands down, The mysterious exit of Bjorn Borg at the age of 25 from the World of Tennis while he was at the hilt, the Father Divine's of the self's tantrums are back in action after a cess for a period of month and half after V's wedding, met M an old dear friend at the D's wedding on sunday with a woman???? astonished!!!! never thought of him to be that way, self's imagination of future and consequences seems crazy, Boss's advice before getting the appointment letter that the future soulmate or the soul less mate would look for big money and luxury in abundance, what happens to my passion and ambition, would they be compromised on, thoughts of how S and U two of whose blog the self follows religiously think? the conversation with Mr. TVS over the phone on saturday night, a very revered man himself appreciating the self's style of writing...............................

All the above were the thoughts that ran through the Central Processing Unit that the first floor entity has assembled in the self. It is absolutely not necessary that these thoughts are in order. The Self lay with eyed wide shut in an attempt to catch some sleep on Sunday night, alas ! never came the sleep, but the thoughts just flowed, it was more than three god damn hours and the self still laid with eyes wide shut but not a moment of sleep or some kind of drowsiness either. The self amidst of so many thoughts was perturbed with the disturbance over the last two days. The entity on the first floor has not gifted the self with the power of venting out frustrations. The self cant throw anger on co existing homo sapiens like how the self's Father Divine does or like how probably V does. This frustrates the self much more. Comes Dee's message on the cellphone while the self is neck deep in thoughts, we share the states that we were currently in then, a row of such messages go on, Dee says that i have to pen down these inane thoughts of mine. I refuse saying that it was not worth a pence. But here I am scripting the same thought. The dots in the paragraph above denote that there ware many turbulent thoughts that ran and kept running till i finally dozed off into the arms of a beautiful angel called the sleep. I write thee due to the idea that was brought up by Dee. Well seem a little hypocratic though after refusing to do what Dee asked me to and now doing the same. I wish to have a meaningful conversation with Dee sometime, which may sound inane to the world around.

Phaedrus

Mind and Brain??? and Time

...Last night I was reading this book called the Last Talks by the most revered Jiddu Krishnamurthy...... I've been trying to gather as much information as possible about this man... Let me tell you all... this man is just phenomenal... the amount of thinking that this man has done is probably enough for ten life times when it comes to a simpleton like me of course.... what actually triggers off such thinking is what i always wonder?? Finally i decided it may help my thought process by reading about what HE preached all through his life.... I talked to a few so called "intellectual" people about Jiddu's works and life.... I did recognise the latent misconception in all these so called intellectual people... The misconception was that they covertly indicated that Jiddu was more of a religious thinker. I did understand that he was a thinker religiously but never a religious thinker. No, here was a man who existed on the face of terra firma who was extremely spiritual as a thinker.... when i utter extremely it means that the "limits tending toward infinity". This was the fact that impressed me the most and consciously forced me read more and more of Jiddu. This write up is pretty much relevant to the "JIDDU" and his thoughts. During his Last talks at the Rishi Valley with the Buddhists and Hindus he answers the questions of various such monks and pundits he raised a few questions that dazzled off the learned men.... leave alone a simpleton. A couple of them which rested as malignant tumors right in my head would be something that will remain malignant till I find an answer for which. The first one " What is the BRAIN? & What is the Mind?"

I tried to reason it myself .....I said to myself .... look here is something what you call an organ "brain" and here is something what you call the process "mind" . But actually this reasoning failed myself, the origin of the reasoning ... would i be able to actually convince some one else with this...... I read on and there bang on what exactly I was thinking.... If i called the mind the process then what do you call the rememberence, thought process etc.... they are the processes... but still what is the difference between the brain and the mind? It still fumbles my thought process as to what it could be .... i'vent yet read the answers by Jiddu yet.... but i fear if I would be able to capitulate or understand what the renowned one has to say. I guess its still a point to ponder ....."What is brain and What is mind?" Follower came on soon. This was at "Adayar" in then Madras where Jiddu held his last breath and remained immortal though in what you may want to call the brain or the mind. The question was "What is TIME?" Freak show.... that's what i said to my self.... These are those random things and concepts of the life which probably give a thought all through right from the age from when we can think to the age when we forget to think I again started to reason the stuff..... the question..... I went back to those physics and mechanics classes that I had been a part of physically though. I said to myself " that the period taken for the pendulum to come back to its original position of rest after one single oscillation can be termed as time" No. BANG!!! Thud!!! on my head ( i prefer to call it as the "Head" rather than the brain or mind at this point of time) My alter ego rose and said " Come off it mate, that's called a period, its just a measure of time" So what is time? What is it? The damn question is still haunting my halo... I dont know if i may be able to ever find the answer to these simple concepts of life that we live through..... post reading Jiddu as well??? Well I will read Jiddu more and more to probably gain the knowledge of these trivial concepts of life......
Leaving with points to ponder....... Think eh?


Adieos
Phaedrus

Communication.....Blogs... Literature.... Music

....Well ....yet again it's again a mundane Sunday night at the office....Lonesome to be true.... a few with whom I generally interact wouldnt be working on a sunday normally.......ofcourse they are much higher in the hierarchy levels than the self, well ofcourse it aint a flat organization and no onw at this place believes in it being so.....as they say "idle mind is devil's work shop" i personally dont believe in my work shop being the hub of destructive intellect. So here I am, keying down the same ol' crap that i always enjoyed doing... no thoughts ... not a goal either... yet again some musings... generic...
I just remembered the conversation we men had over a drink sometime, rather a long time back... one of my friend said "you bloggers... man you guys write some bull on the net which is freely available to scribble". He continues " I think these are somethings that are written by people who dont have friends or they are what you call the hardore introverts". I am seriously confused here ...cos this could be true... but I dont complete comply with his version of thoughts.... but yes it could definitely be a place which one fills with his frustrations and what not.... but i believe that literature is a very powerful medium of communication.... i consider myself to voracious reader..... and the full fledged of Indians to the world wide web has provided an opportunity to a lot many readers like me to read a whole lot of stuff off the web. It could be very informative and ofcourse it could be time pass as well. But in general literature is indeed a very powerful medium of communication.
I have recently cultivated a habit of reading blogs off the net... ofcourse there are a lot of blogs that i come across written by a few friends and a lot of acquaintances. A whole lot of people among these just write to show off the profess that they hold on the language of english. They tend to use a innumerable jargons that they can fill up their blog with which probably is a load too much for a person who has put loads of hardwork for his/her preparation of CAT XAT GMAT GRE TOEFL and yet another umpteen number of competitive examinations. What's the purpose??? are these useless bunch of people writing blogs to gain a superiority complex from with in?? It's great to keep upgrading their personal lexicography as long as they may want to keep it to their utter nonsense restricted to their personal lives.... NO.... but not when they are trying to share some knowledge to the world.. what ever happens to the communication part when they ever try to share something.... trust me the communication is ZILCH!!!
Probably for me a blog or any form of literature should be very simple and clean while it needs to be power packed as well. It needs to communicate what the writer intends to. Filling up with a whole lot of Jargons and Vocab aint doin nothin good mate!!!
Another powerful medium of communication I rate above anything in the world is "MUSIC" . It has been, is and will be the most powerful medium of communication untill Terra Firma exists. We've been a witness to this in the past and sometimes relentlessly try to incorporate them into our lives. There have been the folk songs that have been sung through the centuries and centuries from the so called illiterate educated homosapiens who've sung through their lives to communicate the art of good being and living. I can just rattle off a few such mixes of literature and then translated to music and then into communication just like that. They could be the "Kabir ke Dohe" or down south the " Vachana Saahitya", "Daasa Saahitya", "Dharma Pada", "Gnaana Pada" or the "Jaanapada". The then learned men who tried to communicate in the form of literature later may have translated the same to the unlearned men and which inturn took the form of music and trust me people lived much happier then as compared to what lives we are leading today.
There have been cults that have been formed following the kind of music people listen to. These cults have done dope, drugs and what not kinda shit . These cults have idolised the music people, they have committed suicides when their idols kicked the bucket doing some unknown weed on the face of the earth. When this crap can be communicated and then have a cult actually follow all this, then why not the truth, why not a healthy matter to the world. Why cant we make this place a better living space? why!!!!!!

beats me

Phaedrus

Taare.....Zameen......Par

…..Taare Zameen Par …..when buddies mentioned this to me… I passed it off to be yet another mundane flick of the bollywood and said….” Cant you all see people…..Taara Zameen Par….me?” and laughed it off. No, it did not stop there a few more of my pals came along and rattled off praises for the flick. I decided to watch the movie that weekend, yup a couple of weekends back and did hire the DVD from the vendor. It was a balmy late winter evening when I decided to go for it. I intently watched the intense story told by Aamir Khan. Indeed, a stupendous work. Great deal has gone into the movie I presume. One of those movies which has a Hollywood touch that makes the movie even better. I was amazed about the concept that was brought out. I just said to myself what a star cast of the movie could do to a movie actually. If one revisited the past, not aeons ago but recent past like the 80’s or the late 70’s, movies that were made by Shyam Benegal or Sai Paranjpe or Gulzar, Govind Nihlani type of directors which casted amazing actors like Naseeruddin Shah, Om Puri, Farooq Sheikh, Dipti Naval or Shabana Azmi were written off to be art movies. Trust me, I love watching movies with power packed performances rather than watching movies with status stacked stars. I’ve watched quite a few movies of these sorts and they all have a decent concept that fill the movie in making of one. However these movies were on a normal basis awarded with one Swarna Kamal kind of award and written off. But the TZP worked wonders. It did get enormous mass appeal for the movie. No, am not shying at Aamir Khan to be an over rated performer. The Khan and the kid have delivered extraordinary goods. It actually set my thinking clock about this beautiful concept that was brought out in the movie. The parents force the kids to be the numero unos in what ever field they step into no matter if the kids are dyslexic or not. This could go to the extent of parents forcing their kids to take up things in their walk of life that they do not wish to. Seems like the parents are either apprehensive of their kids taking the unknown path or they feel more comfortable when their kids take the beaten path to the success. There could be another factor of the parents aspiring their kids to be rich and famous.

In the recent past I have been witness of the parents forcing their kids to pursue their Post Graduation in abroad countries and preferring them to get settled there. Is that because every one around here wants to lead a rich life possessing the affluence of increasing the purchasing power parity??? No clue. The parents around here admit their so called academically challenged kids to the most prestigious alma maters. Is that they have to prove to the society that they live in that their kids go the most esteemed institutions or is that to satisfy their own ego? Frankly speaking a learning environment does help any individual gain a lot of wisdom though it is not mandatory that it has to be one specific institution. So why don’t these parents look into the factor of supporting their kids in what they are good at? I was shell shocked when I recently met a distant relative of mine at one of those social gatherings and the kind of conversation I had with her. I looked at her sweet little daughter and said “hey your daughter looks like an angel” and there started the story “ you know what she is the topper of her class. She constantly stands first in the class or else she gets a nice beating from her dad” wowwwwwwwww ….. stupendous I thought. I remember my dad chiding me as well when I failed to perform but it wasn’t to this extent. She rattled off again “ I am sending her to music classes as well …. You know she goes to the music classes conducted by so and so”. The person who conducts happens to be one of those light singers who is famous and charges some 3k every month. I thought to myself what’s the world coming to. “I am planning to enroll her for the singing competition that is aired on the television”. Phenomenal …Phew!!! I asked the kid what she wants to grow up to be she answered promptly writer, but amma doesn’t allow me to write. I thought ofcourse kiddo not every writer makes a fortune like any mundane professional.

But there is a point to debate here. For every right that you possess you need to pay in a country like ours. There aint anything that gets worked upon without money…. There aint right that you can access without the dough. Alas! I personally feel of being abused of my right many times. I have felt helpless being an Indian citizen when I couldn’t do much about retaining a man like Dr. A.P.J. Abdul Kalam for the second term of President., instead there is this woman who looks more like a spastic than a puppet. Pensioners are supposed to duly pay bribe to get their pensions and their pension appraisals sanctioned which they are entitled to as their hard earned money for which they have slogged their butts out for years together. The roads aren’t great here. The living isn’t great here. So is there something defies the logic of the parents wanting to have their kids a better life may be with loads of money so that they can sustain and survive in our great nation or may be settle abroad and accustom themselves to the life style of the other nation. TZP truly put me into a state of chaos. Confused!!! Poof!!!

Obrigado

Phaedrus

DIGRESSION...... CAN I CALL IT???

....hmmmm been thinking of writing about a lot of things these days..unfortunately yet again was not able since the lack of time. Firstly what a boom on the share market index a probably 20 year high, a roaring 20k points....woah booming economy!!!... they, the gurus still predict it to go much higher and would be persistent. The then crème de la crème seem to have stabilised and the so called blue chips are roaring. Somebody said "it's the right time to invest mate".eh? Did I hear that right? May be you've got loads of money is what i thought. Well actually, me aint a guru nor can i make awesome predictions, but my gut feeling says that if tom, dick or harry thinks its the time to invest it better be in the retail industry, it's coming over the time to get into the roaring future ahead. That's not because its just my gut feeling but if one has to look at the way that retail is going in India, it definitely has a good turn out and looking ahead that the western world also is trying to invest into the Indian market there would be a definite growth for the retail. If we have organizations coming out with low prices IPO’s I guess it is that very stock one needs to purchase. Well, being diplomatic that's purely my stance. Same are my views on the food industry.
Food industry reminds me of something, it's great being a foodie I guess, especially if you're a Bangalorean. This city in itself is a diverse city. If one had to visit the Gandhi Bazaar in the Basavanagudi area, one gets to have the best veg food probably in the entire Bangalore. Well, I have to talk about the "Vidhyarthi Bhavan" . This place came into existence sometime in the pre independence era, when the revered H.Narasimhaiah talked to the owners of this age old restaurant which in itself stands as a legend right in the busy area of Gandhi Bazaar into opening this place so that it would be helpful for all those students who studied in the then National College. Time went by and this place was converted into a pure business center. Trust me, one can find a mob yet in the evening times… absolutely no need to say my father is still a devoted visitor to the dosa abode of Bangalore. Well I should confess although the taste doesn’t remain persistent as it were years ago it still does a great deal of difference when compared to a lot of other dosa places in and around Bangalore. If you are a veggie, you can have a dosa or two as a heavy breakfast and then have a sumptuous meal in the afternoon and you can still smell the dosa on your fingertips. Awesome!!!!!!!!

This crap actually started off just recapitulating a lecture that I was attending to in the same old boring PG classes of mine…… err not actually boring…… services marketing… cool prof ….nice way of handling a mundane topic…. Here was himself talking about the services offered by various multi starred hotels…. Oops me aint worthy yet. That actually triggered the worm within to think about the revenues generated across and how it actually contributed to the index high and all stuff and then followed my favorite topic of being a foodie.. …

Guess am digressing a little too much. There are innumerable joints here in namma bengaluru at which one can really enjoy his/her day out at a very minimal cost. The next ofcourse I would be bound to mention is none other than the “Mavalli Tiffin Room” or famously known by its alias MTR ….. slurp!!!! The thali served in a sliver plate and all the fluids served in the silver tumblers….. mind boggling….

Alright done with MTR…. One needs to amble down the alleys of visheshpuram, probably on a balmy evening….be cautious its most definitely not for the hygiene and the health freaks around.

I remember of one of foodventures on this street called the “Eatery Street” for probably the firangs or “ Shettar beedi” for the old forgone bangaloreans . Yes this is very much ofcourse the visheshpuram. Me and a couple of chaddi buddies strolled down the street. Woah what recepies….. it started off with the boiled sweet corn then down to the roadside dosas, name the kind of dosas….. masala, set, plain, onion, rava, rice dosa…. You read it right… rice dosa…. Dosa and a layer of rice on it roasted. Then probably you have by far the most famous bonda shops on the street followed by dry chats, sweet meat stalls, ofcourse a masla softdrink shop as well….. awesome!!!!

The street ends yet again in a food place…..V.B.Bakery probably the best bakery in Bangalore.

The entire crap seems to me just like the epitome of digression…. I don’t know… am lost yet again in transition

Will be back with more some more ameegos

Hastala Victoria Siempre

Your’s Truly

Phaedrus

Bliss... Determination......confusion.........What?

..........err yet again am here ... after a long long time.... I was on of these yet another networking portals wandering absolutely like a nomad, no goals, no aims, no destination either. I go to a profile and suddenly stumble upon a neat blog.... and yet again my alter ego .. the so called "writer" popped up saying "Hey wassup dude... you havent chalked anything for long long time?" So here I am. Can I call it a stint of inspiration?
..hmmm I am just thinking of scribbling down on my own e-pad a few thoughts of mine. Recently had been watching a repeat telecast of a music show where in one of the best singers that the country has produced ever Dr. S.P. Balasubramaniam broached another musical genius Dr. Ilayaraja. The former calls the latter "Sangeeta Raakshasa" a Musical Demon. Well I personally feel that anyone ever listened to Ilayaraja must and should second SP's opinion. What an amazing musician!!!
Remember that song "naguva nayana madhura mouna...." or "nagu endide manjinaaa hoovu..." from one of those written off movies "Pallavi Anupallavi" made by yet another cinematic genius Maniratnam. Woah!! it just blows off my head. Those are what I call ever lasting compostions .... to the eternity. I remember of a collegue talking to me about Ilayaraja a couple of years ago. This collegue of mine is around 50ish... says had been to one of the recordings of Ilayaraja. He says that this musical genius comes into the studio with hand written hand outs of the notes and hands it over to 50 odd musicians and then starts recording. He stops the recording abruptly and calls out for a violinist on the last row and says "Appu you are not playing right my man" ......yeah that's amongst 50 odd musicians playing all the instruments simultaneously. Can any one deny with this man being a Musical Genius? Its an obvious taken for granted fact that the music that he composes is one of the best. Isnt that just BLISS?
A couple of weeks back on a balmy sunday morning .... just out of the bed I switched on the idiot box....and started surfing through those absolutely stupid channels.... I saw one of my favourite and one those innumerable Theater Geniuses Mr. Prakash Belawadi all dressed smartly with another gentleman Vedam Jaishankar on a talk show. I stalled. I found that they were talking to one of those normally pretty looking woman. I followed the conversation and found that her name was Malini Prasad and she happens to be an IIM post grad working for one of those stalwarts of the organisations who also help the globe to sustain the economic world. Finance.....freak show, the toughest I found probably. This conversation led to music. I got more engrossed in the conversation. This lady is a god damn professional trained classical singer. I was taken aback for a while. Cmon, man where the hell in the world did she find time to practise music in her busy schedule. Well, yeah, she has been doing that for 14 years of her life. Yes, ofcourse this woman does have a brand name now the IIM, well she says that it's great to have that tag on the forehead of her resume albeit she would be even more happier if she had a brand name of IIM, Indian Institute of Music. Now, That's what I call DETERMINATION.
Well, time for introspection, also retrospection, I've been so called "in & out" of the theatre. I dont know if I've to douse the fire that is within yielding to the societal dominance over me, or should i quench the thirst of getting there? Should I go on to become what I aspire to become when it comes the realistic world of whom I call the fools?? I will also have a post grad degree in Marketing and IT in sometime. But does that really help the thirst of the intellect?? Do I have to pursue my art?? Do I have to pursue my ambition and make it big in the matrialistic world... Can I call that CONFUSION? let me debate within myself .. will get back with more soon
Hasta La Victoria Siempre
Adieos
Obrigado
Your's Truly
Phaedrus

Remember this.......The India's Own Fantasy town Malgudi

.........................I was just thinking .......what men can do to leave something back in the minds of the common men ..... imagine if R.K.Narayan never wrote the Malgudi Days ? Imagine if R.K.Laxman never cartooned these pics ? Imagine if Shankranna never made this film..... Inspite of all those knick-knacks about where the best directors come from .....bollywood or the south...... no one would deny giving credit to Late Shankar Nag or Late R.K.Narayan for the accomplishment of the Malgudi Days........ Prbobably there would be a few and whom you would meet seldom who would ever say that they dont remember the Malgudi Days if they ever watched the DoorDarshan in the dawn of the Television era in India. Wish these Men of Honor Live for ever physically although they would live to eternity through their work.....

Hat's Off Gentlemen

Adios

.........what a life ...........what a city.....Diversity in a Diverse City

..... been longing to write a few things from quite some time, found no time, found no enthusiasm. Don't know if this would be the state of life for a long time persisting through the existence. Well a few things happened in the last week which did actually kind of shook me from normal....... after all normal is boring.
I was just thinking about a few things that happened the last week in the city I live in. The once so called paradise, garden city, etc ... Quoting this kind of an incident may portray me to be xenophobe or a man of very low tolerance. But it does leave a dent. Getting digressed... huh...
The north indian family down my street some time back in the last week celebrated the birthday of their kid. God Bless the kid... atleast the kid with some common sense and some civic sense when it grows up to be an adult. These folks quite affluent who could probably afford a party hall never did that instead they chose to block the entire street at their surrounding with a temporary tent fixtures to celebrate. Imagine a whole part of the road being blocked, people from one side aren't able to move to the other side...... a whole lot of vehicles of the guests parked in front of every gate. A few of them right in front of my gate as well. I asked a man if he thought my place was a parking lot...... he answered in a very careless manner "cmon yaar...chalta hain todi der mein nikaal doonga" I was aghast the way he gave it back to me. I continued further.... what if I need to go out?.....says he " doosra gate hai na use karlo yaar". It pissed me off. The first thing is that some one trespassing your property, the second thing being the atrocious manner of answering with out any remorse or a sense of apology. Eventually, it took some harsh words from my end to get the vehicles moved. For all these are the people who complain about the infrastructure in my city who don't even have the least civic sense of living in a society. I had head on with the head of the family which celebrated the birthday of the kid a couple of days later..... I accosted him and queried did he find it right what they did? The same careless manner of answering comes out " to kya? hamaare yaha aise hi hota hai" and he walks off... .... man is this some place to live???? is this some kind of behaviour that one exhibits? god alone knows.....
But there was something happened just the previous week which made me feel proud that i am actually living such a diverse city..... I was working up that weekend. It was a saturday and I was doing an all night shift at the office. My friend Suraj comes up to me and says " bartiya maga ulsoorge hog barona?" I was confused as to what this guy wants to do in the grave hours of night on a saturday in ulsoor? I asked him "en maadakke?" He said today its "Ulsoor Pallakki" . Born and brought up in this city I had never heard of this thing. I asked him what it was all about. He informed me that there were a whole lot of gods and godesses were taken on a procession and people from near by villages bring the gods of their place to assemble at one temple called the "Someshwara Devasthana". Apparently the legend is that it is an occasion of wedding of two gods. Hence there is a groom's side procession and there is bride's party of procession coming from the opposite directions and meet at one place to celebrate the Marriage of the Gods. Here I accompany Suraj and I am amazed . There is a pretty tight police security, a whole lot of policemen alert, one of the main streets of the city that connects to the M.G.Road is totally blocked. folks from villages are selling their goods right in the middle of the street. People are intoxicated and dancing away to glory to please their Gods. They've broken all thresholds of enjoyment. The police is there only to maintain the peace harmony and tranquility. The men are sweating. Their shirts are sticking to their bodies. They dont seem to be bothered. They just throw themselves to the pool of enjoyment. It was truly an experience. Amazing!!!!!!!!!
The next day I woke up sometime in the evening and I see i had missed a call. It was from an old friend. I call him back and talk to him. Casually ask him what his plans were for the weekend. He says "it's sunday maga... no plan, I had a blast yesterday" I asked him what he did? says he " Maga I was totally intoxicated, absolutely out of my senses and then we all hit a discotheque and danced my heart out. Man I was sweating like crazy. My shirt stuck to my body....I was stinking when I left the place".He says "It was truly an experience".
I just started wondering about different class of people. Here was a techie who earns really good who is also intoxicated, who is also drained his sweat by dancing to some kind of a trance music. Also there are whole lot of other people out there who are also intoxicate, who also drained their sweat out dancing to the tuned of local trumpets and drums to be more accurate the "ding chack ding chack" music and dance on the same saturday night in the same city almost close to one another. Should I say is this what you call "Diversity in Diverse City" .
Then the only thing that was running on the back of my mind was "Ye Jo hain Zindagi, Ye hi to hain Zindagi"

Time to go ....will be back with some more crap later

Adieos Ameegos

Vineeta Singh takes Rs 1 Crore

........Am back yet again.... on this seldom balmy rather hot fore summer day of January to drive my sleep away following which I need to take nose dive back into my mundane work. Well just now this news hit me once again after a few days as was just going through one of those worthless magazines in the office. Vineeta Singh takes the highest ever salary of Rs. 1 Crore that an Indian Management Institute has witnessed. Brilliant!!! I said to myself. This lady is just in the fore noon of her twenty's and what an achievement. kudos woman. Well there do you see why there is a reason that no one wants to be a history professor? I guess off late this attitude has crept into people that their effort persistently and perennially is to become an inveterate money maker. I concede that money is absolutely essential to live a life but it is not mandatory after all. Anyways if this is the trend I fear that there would be a day to come where my kids wont have a history professor to tell him what happened the previous day or an Science teacher to tell me him what are micro organisms and what's the difference between a micro organism and and an unicellular organism. Come what may " you have to be a consistent billion maker for your existence on the face of earth or you will perish"
he would be thought at school. What a dreadful thought.... alas my mind doesn't remain always sane.....but this thought could well come through good.

Recently I was here in the office during an anomalous graveyard working hours and talking to one of my agents while having a break. He is just 20 years of age. The conversation was something as below

Me: Hey what's your age man?
Agent: 20
Me: How come you have started working so early in life?(thinking of some crisis endured at his home)
A: I want to make money.
M: what does your Dad do?
A: He works for the income tax department.
M: Then why would you want to earn?
A: I want to buy a pulsar for myself. You know all my friends have bikes earned out of their own money.
(Lightening struck me. I was dumbfounded)

M: What happens to you education man?
A: Let's see. It isn't necessary for me to be educated after all.

Lightening struck me again. There was a crack on my scalp. I left and said to myself what the hell would you be telling your kids what to do in life?Another revolutionary money maker.
I keep wondering was it the same way how my parents lived their youth? Were the relentlessly struggling their whole life to just earn money?

What a shame todays world of money makers put humanism into? There isn't equality of humans by the virtue of humanity. Obviously the best earned are the most humane!!!
But is this for what the kids are being brought in an environment that is most hostile to the beautiful life out there in the beautiful world. Has any kid been invoked with a passion of being a fundamental researcher or an archaeologist or a historian or a musician for a matter of fact. Recently I was talking to my sister's kid who studies in Grade IV. I asked him what do you want to grow up to be? says he Software Engineer ....... my eyebrows raised instantly..... probed more into him why he wanted to do that. says he again "big car togobeku"(i want buy a big car)
And as usual my ghosts of thoughts started haunting me - Am I being anachronistic? it all seemed more like a insolvable knot of network. I definitely know he wouldn't be able to say that to me all by himself. As i said if that has to be the mantra for his existence that has been shoved down his throat rather shoved up his brain by his folks it better be true, again am i being anachronistic? again while i am doing this my thoughts get back to Vineeta Singh, is that one crore of rupees that she earns is an achievement of her life.... soon she would be lost in the world of corporate jungle, of course a few like me who collect these kinda obscure facts would still remember her but who else? alas the biggest irony of this blog is that I myself am pursuing an PGDM degree..... 1000 profound apologies..... yet again i came across one more of my kinds and ended up in a conversation ....says he he's doing his MBA to earn more money.... sounds like "apna sapna money money" what ever happened to those hard core civil services aspirants amongst us..... is there still a dearth of the talent for the national pool of resources??? why aren't our people other than the money makers being recognized globally...... (hope they are atleast recognized locally). I dont know what the world around me is going to? would there be a day ever when the folks would tell their kids to enjoy life.... enjoy the beautiful world ever again like before. Would there ever be a care free world to live life to the fullest?? well I still dream of better days....

will write back soon again

Hasta La Victoria Siempre

Obrigado

Arrivederci

sa...ree.... maa .... ga.... ree ....sa ...ri ... ga ....ree....sa

........"सर्वेपी सूखीनास्सनतु सर्वे संतु निरामया" this was a hymn that was embedded with music that i heard on a pleasant winter morning recently...... was enthralled by the composition...... so soothing ..... what a calming effect this has on a chaotic mind like of mine. As usual the same old haunting ghost of the inane thought process started kicking off.....music was on my mind.... i have always had this regret of not being musician.... the one and only regret of my life so far.... as they often say that "u always need to look at the big picture and trace it backwards " probably i also feel i need share a few thoughts......

...........As we believe in India MUSIC is a derivative of one of the most esteemed set of scriptures that has been there in the HINDU - the "SAAMAVEDA" . I kind of feel that i need delve a little deeper into the VEDAS at this point. There are basically four of them - the "RIG" "YAJUR" "SAAMA" & "ATHARVANA". These are considered to be "APOURUSHEYA" meaning no human is a cause for this. These evolved during the epic churning of the sea what is known as "SAMUDRA MANTHANA" and ofcourse the reason behind it would be the ALMIGHTY himself. Well, the first two of them deal with the hymns and prayers while the third deals with art and music and the fourth would deal with medicinal and black magic traits .... kind of voodoo.

Guess I am digressing from what i intend to write about. This happened a few days back when me and a couple of friends were just awake through a long lasting nightout plan. We were discussing on an issue that was related to do with a portal for music. Here, I come across some wonderful portals already existing and the amount of information i gathered was just simply incredible. The next that happened to me the next morning was the hymn. I was literally enthralled by the coincidence of the events. I was telling myself the most beautiful thing that ever the world could hear to was the music and nothing else.

.............I was thinking about the preferences of people who listen to various kinds of music...... classical, fusion, karnatick, hindustani, rock, pop, jazz, metal, heavy metal, death metal, thrash, black and what not.... of course there are innumerable kind of music that is soothing, enthralling and exciting every one every single day.

.........quite debatable but the fact is that any music is based on the Indian classical note " sa..ree..ga...ma..pa...da...ni" and on the other hand if one ever looks at the western classical one can see the exact notes "do...re..pa...so.....". Unfortunately am not really knowledgeable enough to go on further with the technicalities of the music.

..... thinking about this i go deeper into my contemplation...... is it the state of mind that one chooses to listen to the apt kind of music?...... I personally listen to metal when i want be kind of pepped up.... karnatic classical when i want my mind to be placated.... hindustaani to feel rejuvenated.... fusion to get lively...... all these kinds do have the greatest effect internally on any human though being of an external source..... and then something else struck me.... the attitudes that the musicians possess while they perform......it was just a kick and i was high on music yet again..... the attitudes is not the behavior of an artist physically.... it's the attitude in which they perform ........when one hears to the great "BHARATA RATNA" M.S. SUBBULAKSHMI ..... the attitude of her voice is absolutely "DIVINITY PERSONIFIED".... listen to Dr. M. BALAMURALI KRISHNA notice the "ARROGANCE " in the voice .....listen to Dr.K.J.YESUDAS..... notice "HUMILITY".... listen to MAHARAJAPURAM SANTAANAM notice " KNOWLEDGE"...... like wise go west listen to BRUCE DICKENSON notice the "PLEASURE"
...listen to OZZY OSBOURNE ..... notice "PLACATION"...... i know people call him the psychopath of the first order though...... and how can i forget the one of the greatest of em' all JIM MORRISON...... notice "INTOXICATION"....... and so on.... it also shows like wise when the greatest of the greatest perform on instruments as well.... but at the end of the day music is really something that soothes, calms down, aggravates, excites and does everything that none of the other things in the world can ever do except probably emotions.... what if the human is stoic it doesnt do anything to him/her as well.......

...........Looking at the way my thoughts kept flowing....... the only thing that keeps playing in the back of my mind is "ENDURO MAHAANUBHAAVULU..... ANDARI KI VANDANAMULU" composed by one of the all time greats "SHRI THYAGARAJA".....so true after all........
i think i need to end on this note of writing. note not the music... ..... alas .....wish i were a musician....... but i still dream of becoming one..... as OZZY says " i am just a dreamer i dream of better days"

Adieos

viva la vista

Obrigado

HASTA LA VICTORIA SIEMPRE

CHAOS CHAOS AND MORE CHAOS....................

..........it's been quite a while since i've been around here to probably script down the random thoughts that occurs...... hmmm should i say i was busy .... ......or should is say i was facing a deficit of thinking capital.....lolzzzz..... at this point i still do not have a title for this blog.......it's still kinda chaotic..... actually i was wondering it's been quite a while that i caught up with my friends also.... still asking myself the same question ....... am i busy?? am i tired?? or am i being ignorant of the fact how much these small things could actually mean to a human life?? is that the life i am leading at the moment ...... would that be called "living" or would that be called "existing" .....bur reconciling the fact that existing could be a phase which one has to pass through for living...... may be am consoling myself.....

......... but i guess through the years to come existing would definitely become living.... just wondering if i am putting in the right efforts at the right time.... yes, now i remember recently in one of the classes the professor was talking about the very fact how we tend to give reason to others that we are busy.... at least pose a false pretension of a mere affectation of being busy....
i guess one cannot really lie to himself/herself....... i reckon the fact that sometimes we tend to wait for a friend or a cousin in US to come online for hours together but we still cannot cross the road and catch up with a friend with whom you would actually share fond memories of your childhood..... are we still busy???

i still think i am digressing from the very fact that i thought i would script about..... ok i think i was focusing on something that was quite relevant to what happened in the class yesterday..... when the prof lit the spark of globalisation ........ and it actually kicked off a spark of some thought process..... it took me to a different plane of restrospection of the recent past of my life.... as i vaguely remember it was the 5th of November 2004 .... the first fest that was held at the abode called "RANGA SHNKARA" i witnessed one of the most beautiful plays I've ever watched it was called "PARAKRAMANA" . The very meaning of the word means invasion. This is a story of Spanish invasion of the Incan Civilization . The Spanish riot was lead by the legendary warlord "FRANCESCO PIZZARO" which led to the highest ransom ever payed in the history of mankind by the kind of Incas "ATAHU ALPA" who was revered the son of the Sun God. Cut to the present day world..... rapid globalisation has'nt left is far too behind in making a similar impact on our lives....... are'nt we paying up a far more huge ransom today....could be in terms of work culture, social responsibility.... values ..... what ever you term it as..... but as my manager always says "change is the only thing that's constant" so u better adapt yourself for the change and accommodate the change rather than crib.... so the focus is on well being in the globalisation. Cut to today .... need to get back home and do some studying... cos i need to keep apace with moving ahead peers of mine..... impact of globalisation on my socialization...should i say?.....

on the back of my mind there is one song playing now...............
" am waiting in my cold cell when the bell begins to chime...........reflecting on my past life it doesnt have much time.........cos at five 'o clock they took me to the gallows pole...... and the sands of time for me are running low"......... very true the sands of time are running low for myself too...... and still awaiting to get on to the gallows pole..... and i still struggle...... stuggle for existence so that i dream of living some day ... and dream far beyond my imaginations of reality to be faced......... another song humming on the back ground now " ........... i'm just a dreamer ....... i dream my life away....... i'm just a dreamer.....who dreams of better days "........ finally i wish if some one could really say when i've got on to the gallows...... "HALLOWED BE THY NAME".

singing off
Adieos

viva la vista

HASTA LA VICTORIA SIEMPRE

Another Brick In The Wall........

............. sometimes i tell myself that i've been doing nothing offlate..... i've been a vegetable all the while.... no challenges being accepted..... no tasks taken on hand ..... where's life heading to? is that my conscious pricking me that lazing around is'nt the best thing in the world???... ... so freaked out sometimes life seems to be...... it's chaos once again.... a lotta tasks on hand be it personal professiona goal oriented or what ever..... nothing's happening...... i think need to catchup with my dudes ...i think i have to do something regarding some project i feel which needs to kick off...but am not doing any freakin thing man.... i think i am just wasting out in this dytopia called office... did i ever reckon that i still do have a life that needs to be rejuvenated?? that needs to be reventured into??..... oh man where's life heading too....

i guess that's enough for the time being.... i came back here after a long time with a different thought altogether... but the interruption of thought process...... feel so disgusted when u have soo many things on ur head and ur still not able to get to touch ne one of them either.....

........ i was thinking about the on going altercations regarding the reservation and the protests and demonstration by the young doctors..... i was thinking if this was a sincere approach or a mere affectation .... a mere ostentaion ....... but then i soon got to know that they had a motive behind their effort.... the display of the altruistic effort of these doctors are very much laudable...... there are atleast a hundred of them fasting .... for their rights to be exploited.....
the act of coming out of their classes and holding a protest against the act of reservation is truly commendable...

recently i was talking with my professors at the college about the same issue and also about the indians taking a risk to have their own start up and growing it into a vision... a lot of discrepencies cropped up during the conversation..... the typical middle class mentality and all other crap....

.......on the contrary my thought process again kicked off in a direction which has always amused me.... i was yet again thinking.... thinking of Ramesh Ramanathan of the Janaagraha... look at that man ... one evident display of altruism... i heard he left a well paying job back in unca sam's place and got back here to do something for the society.... too freakin commendable....

i was thinking y not most of us can make an effort like that..... get out of the typical mentality.... but is there a way??? one gets soo much involved in personal stuff that he or she doesnt want to ever get out of it.... one is always thinking of how he needs to grow in his company... what property he has to acquire... which school he has to send his kids .... is there a niche that we have carved that we can reckon with in the evenings of the life before hitting the sacks??? is it??

back of my mind that song from Roger Waters still keeps playing.....

All in all ur just ANOTHER BRICK IN THE WALL......

yet another confession of a chaotic mind

desculpe - for the trouble

will write back soon

Obrigado



Hasta La Victoria Siempre

viva la vista

TURMOIL.....................................

Yet again here I come. I was disturbed, very disturbed. My thought process had yet again kicked off as often rather than seldom. I yet again came in face with the reality that I was hallucinated that I was plumed by the goodies of life. Here I was disturbed yet again. I thought I was in an anachronous state with regards to time. I felt I never belonged here in the first place. I yet again was contemplating and retrospecting. As he Bruce Dickenson says “Reflecting on my past life, it doesn’t have much time”, I felt I need to a lot more in life and need to grow a lot more, reach my destination ASAP because I feel am running out of time. After all the life is always a race against time. I was again lost in the chaos of thoughts. It led me back to those great men who achieved success, shot a goal, reached their destination and rose to the epitome of greatness of what their pursuit was.

I shed my thoughts off. It was time. My shift had ended; a long night had come to an end with the rays of the sun intervening with the dark world of mine. I said to myself its time I called it a day rather a night. I got up, shed my inhibitions of facing the bright new world as they say, rather the light. I informed the boys and left for the day. I said to myself that I needed to meditate to allay my brainstorming sessions of my contemplation.

I started my bike, left to home thinking I still have to come back to the same place in the very evening of the same day.

It was balmy Thursday morning rather a hot one. I felt that the summer had not hit this day yet. I reached home with a strong will to meditate. I performed my ablutions and sat down to concentrate on a vague point somewhere in the twilight zone which I always imagine being static and tend to concentrate on the same. Oh the entanglement of bunch of threads of chaos had struck me again. I could not concentrate on what I intended to do.

I was lost; I was overcome by the destitution of power to concentrate. As I sit still trying yet to concentrate on the vague point, I still felt that I did not belong here.

I finally started meditating. But yet I could listen a faint whine in the back of my mind, the frustration still persists..... the chaos still continues…. It’s persisting so much that I am just being banal and I am just not being able to put my thoughts across. Well, as I try very hard to concentrate thoughts keep coming back. I again question myself what I am doing in life at this point of time? My MBA degree to which I couldn’t get through to haunts me, the pain that I couldn’t make it to the theatre world hurts me more. I wanted to do more in life and not just work through the night. What’s happening with my life here?

I wanted to be an actor. I wanted to perform. So I wanted to be a part of the theatre. I wanted to be rich. I wanted to money. So I wanted to do an MBA. The plan was foiled. Those guys sitting on top there decided that they wouldn’t give me a call letter. I was disappointed, frustrated, fuming, pissed off with life, I wanted to break loose from the social constraints. I thought I will spend some time with my solitude. Those people back at home whom I call them as my own started grilling their teeth at my inefficiency. They don’t understand either that I am anachronous. I don’t belong to your damn society. I don’t want to be yet another software professional. I don’t want to make million bucks an year. Of course I want to be rich, rich in my own way. I just want to be rich that I can take care of my owns self. I don’t want to be an MBA. Leave me alone, I want to get lost. I want to be just myself. Oh freak show….. What am I doing?

These things kept coming back and back again and yet again while I sit there and trying to concentrate. I couldn’t concentrate any more. I left that place returned to my solitude. My contemplation of the existence and the survival and the struggle of the life started yet again. Does this happen with every one? Or is it the chaotic state of mind that makes me think this way? I often see others; they seem so happy and gay as they have achieved what they intended to. Have they really? Or is it a mere affectation of being gay? Doesn’t he … that man at the end of my street who is software pro who takes home something like 70-80k have some dreams which he feels like realizing it? Or did he never have a dream? Was what his present state was an ambition? C’mon he has been in that industry for more than 8 yrs now… he is still a senior coder… no inventions, no innovations , no contributions from his side to the industry…. Was this his ambition? Should I’ve had a dream which I had to nurture and go on to become a coder because that paid?

This is not happening, I said to my self. I came back to reality. I still am bogged down by that chaotic turmoil. Is there an end for this? Wavering thoughts wandering thought processes…. Does life has something better to offer to me? Does it? “August summer night…..soldiers passing by ….. Listening to the winds of change” smile across on my face…. This is so chaotic… the next moment “Hallowed be thy name” was running on the back of my mind…… thoughts again…. Will my name ever be hallowed? Will it?

Chaos chaos and more chaos….. Turmoil again…… There it strikes me two sayings from my college days… those were the best days of my life……”life is a bitch ….fuck it” on the contrary “nobody dies a virgin here…. Life fucks every one” … what a fantastic example how life can take a dual role. Anyway yet again on a balmy summer Thursday morning I felt life sucks…just sucks… call it gravity or myth….but life truly sucks…. Signing off… yet again a whole lotta crap which doesn’t make sense to anybody…….

Adieos amigos…… will be back again sooon with some more crap

Arrivederci

HASTA LA VICTORIA SIEMPRE