Mind and Brain??? and Time

...Last night I was reading this book called the Last Talks by the most revered Jiddu Krishnamurthy...... I've been trying to gather as much information as possible about this man... Let me tell you all... this man is just phenomenal... the amount of thinking that this man has done is probably enough for ten life times when it comes to a simpleton like me of course.... what actually triggers off such thinking is what i always wonder?? Finally i decided it may help my thought process by reading about what HE preached all through his life.... I talked to a few so called "intellectual" people about Jiddu's works and life.... I did recognise the latent misconception in all these so called intellectual people... The misconception was that they covertly indicated that Jiddu was more of a religious thinker. I did understand that he was a thinker religiously but never a religious thinker. No, here was a man who existed on the face of terra firma who was extremely spiritual as a thinker.... when i utter extremely it means that the "limits tending toward infinity". This was the fact that impressed me the most and consciously forced me read more and more of Jiddu. This write up is pretty much relevant to the "JIDDU" and his thoughts. During his Last talks at the Rishi Valley with the Buddhists and Hindus he answers the questions of various such monks and pundits he raised a few questions that dazzled off the learned men.... leave alone a simpleton. A couple of them which rested as malignant tumors right in my head would be something that will remain malignant till I find an answer for which. The first one " What is the BRAIN? & What is the Mind?"

I tried to reason it myself .....I said to myself .... look here is something what you call an organ "brain" and here is something what you call the process "mind" . But actually this reasoning failed myself, the origin of the reasoning ... would i be able to actually convince some one else with this...... I read on and there bang on what exactly I was thinking.... If i called the mind the process then what do you call the rememberence, thought process etc.... they are the processes... but still what is the difference between the brain and the mind? It still fumbles my thought process as to what it could be .... i'vent yet read the answers by Jiddu yet.... but i fear if I would be able to capitulate or understand what the renowned one has to say. I guess its still a point to ponder ....."What is brain and What is mind?" Follower came on soon. This was at "Adayar" in then Madras where Jiddu held his last breath and remained immortal though in what you may want to call the brain or the mind. The question was "What is TIME?" Freak show.... that's what i said to my self.... These are those random things and concepts of the life which probably give a thought all through right from the age from when we can think to the age when we forget to think I again started to reason the stuff..... the question..... I went back to those physics and mechanics classes that I had been a part of physically though. I said to myself " that the period taken for the pendulum to come back to its original position of rest after one single oscillation can be termed as time" No. BANG!!! Thud!!! on my head ( i prefer to call it as the "Head" rather than the brain or mind at this point of time) My alter ego rose and said " Come off it mate, that's called a period, its just a measure of time" So what is time? What is it? The damn question is still haunting my halo... I dont know if i may be able to ever find the answer to these simple concepts of life that we live through..... post reading Jiddu as well??? Well I will read Jiddu more and more to probably gain the knowledge of these trivial concepts of life......
Leaving with points to ponder....... Think eh?


Adieos
Phaedrus

Communication.....Blogs... Literature.... Music

....Well ....yet again it's again a mundane Sunday night at the office....Lonesome to be true.... a few with whom I generally interact wouldnt be working on a sunday normally.......ofcourse they are much higher in the hierarchy levels than the self, well ofcourse it aint a flat organization and no onw at this place believes in it being so.....as they say "idle mind is devil's work shop" i personally dont believe in my work shop being the hub of destructive intellect. So here I am, keying down the same ol' crap that i always enjoyed doing... no thoughts ... not a goal either... yet again some musings... generic...
I just remembered the conversation we men had over a drink sometime, rather a long time back... one of my friend said "you bloggers... man you guys write some bull on the net which is freely available to scribble". He continues " I think these are somethings that are written by people who dont have friends or they are what you call the hardore introverts". I am seriously confused here ...cos this could be true... but I dont complete comply with his version of thoughts.... but yes it could definitely be a place which one fills with his frustrations and what not.... but i believe that literature is a very powerful medium of communication.... i consider myself to voracious reader..... and the full fledged of Indians to the world wide web has provided an opportunity to a lot many readers like me to read a whole lot of stuff off the web. It could be very informative and ofcourse it could be time pass as well. But in general literature is indeed a very powerful medium of communication.
I have recently cultivated a habit of reading blogs off the net... ofcourse there are a lot of blogs that i come across written by a few friends and a lot of acquaintances. A whole lot of people among these just write to show off the profess that they hold on the language of english. They tend to use a innumerable jargons that they can fill up their blog with which probably is a load too much for a person who has put loads of hardwork for his/her preparation of CAT XAT GMAT GRE TOEFL and yet another umpteen number of competitive examinations. What's the purpose??? are these useless bunch of people writing blogs to gain a superiority complex from with in?? It's great to keep upgrading their personal lexicography as long as they may want to keep it to their utter nonsense restricted to their personal lives.... NO.... but not when they are trying to share some knowledge to the world.. what ever happens to the communication part when they ever try to share something.... trust me the communication is ZILCH!!!
Probably for me a blog or any form of literature should be very simple and clean while it needs to be power packed as well. It needs to communicate what the writer intends to. Filling up with a whole lot of Jargons and Vocab aint doin nothin good mate!!!
Another powerful medium of communication I rate above anything in the world is "MUSIC" . It has been, is and will be the most powerful medium of communication untill Terra Firma exists. We've been a witness to this in the past and sometimes relentlessly try to incorporate them into our lives. There have been the folk songs that have been sung through the centuries and centuries from the so called illiterate educated homosapiens who've sung through their lives to communicate the art of good being and living. I can just rattle off a few such mixes of literature and then translated to music and then into communication just like that. They could be the "Kabir ke Dohe" or down south the " Vachana Saahitya", "Daasa Saahitya", "Dharma Pada", "Gnaana Pada" or the "Jaanapada". The then learned men who tried to communicate in the form of literature later may have translated the same to the unlearned men and which inturn took the form of music and trust me people lived much happier then as compared to what lives we are leading today.
There have been cults that have been formed following the kind of music people listen to. These cults have done dope, drugs and what not kinda shit . These cults have idolised the music people, they have committed suicides when their idols kicked the bucket doing some unknown weed on the face of the earth. When this crap can be communicated and then have a cult actually follow all this, then why not the truth, why not a healthy matter to the world. Why cant we make this place a better living space? why!!!!!!

beats me

Phaedrus

Taare.....Zameen......Par

…..Taare Zameen Par …..when buddies mentioned this to me… I passed it off to be yet another mundane flick of the bollywood and said….” Cant you all see people…..Taara Zameen Par….me?” and laughed it off. No, it did not stop there a few more of my pals came along and rattled off praises for the flick. I decided to watch the movie that weekend, yup a couple of weekends back and did hire the DVD from the vendor. It was a balmy late winter evening when I decided to go for it. I intently watched the intense story told by Aamir Khan. Indeed, a stupendous work. Great deal has gone into the movie I presume. One of those movies which has a Hollywood touch that makes the movie even better. I was amazed about the concept that was brought out. I just said to myself what a star cast of the movie could do to a movie actually. If one revisited the past, not aeons ago but recent past like the 80’s or the late 70’s, movies that were made by Shyam Benegal or Sai Paranjpe or Gulzar, Govind Nihlani type of directors which casted amazing actors like Naseeruddin Shah, Om Puri, Farooq Sheikh, Dipti Naval or Shabana Azmi were written off to be art movies. Trust me, I love watching movies with power packed performances rather than watching movies with status stacked stars. I’ve watched quite a few movies of these sorts and they all have a decent concept that fill the movie in making of one. However these movies were on a normal basis awarded with one Swarna Kamal kind of award and written off. But the TZP worked wonders. It did get enormous mass appeal for the movie. No, am not shying at Aamir Khan to be an over rated performer. The Khan and the kid have delivered extraordinary goods. It actually set my thinking clock about this beautiful concept that was brought out in the movie. The parents force the kids to be the numero unos in what ever field they step into no matter if the kids are dyslexic or not. This could go to the extent of parents forcing their kids to take up things in their walk of life that they do not wish to. Seems like the parents are either apprehensive of their kids taking the unknown path or they feel more comfortable when their kids take the beaten path to the success. There could be another factor of the parents aspiring their kids to be rich and famous.

In the recent past I have been witness of the parents forcing their kids to pursue their Post Graduation in abroad countries and preferring them to get settled there. Is that because every one around here wants to lead a rich life possessing the affluence of increasing the purchasing power parity??? No clue. The parents around here admit their so called academically challenged kids to the most prestigious alma maters. Is that they have to prove to the society that they live in that their kids go the most esteemed institutions or is that to satisfy their own ego? Frankly speaking a learning environment does help any individual gain a lot of wisdom though it is not mandatory that it has to be one specific institution. So why don’t these parents look into the factor of supporting their kids in what they are good at? I was shell shocked when I recently met a distant relative of mine at one of those social gatherings and the kind of conversation I had with her. I looked at her sweet little daughter and said “hey your daughter looks like an angel” and there started the story “ you know what she is the topper of her class. She constantly stands first in the class or else she gets a nice beating from her dad” wowwwwwwwww ….. stupendous I thought. I remember my dad chiding me as well when I failed to perform but it wasn’t to this extent. She rattled off again “ I am sending her to music classes as well …. You know she goes to the music classes conducted by so and so”. The person who conducts happens to be one of those light singers who is famous and charges some 3k every month. I thought to myself what’s the world coming to. “I am planning to enroll her for the singing competition that is aired on the television”. Phenomenal …Phew!!! I asked the kid what she wants to grow up to be she answered promptly writer, but amma doesn’t allow me to write. I thought ofcourse kiddo not every writer makes a fortune like any mundane professional.

But there is a point to debate here. For every right that you possess you need to pay in a country like ours. There aint anything that gets worked upon without money…. There aint right that you can access without the dough. Alas! I personally feel of being abused of my right many times. I have felt helpless being an Indian citizen when I couldn’t do much about retaining a man like Dr. A.P.J. Abdul Kalam for the second term of President., instead there is this woman who looks more like a spastic than a puppet. Pensioners are supposed to duly pay bribe to get their pensions and their pension appraisals sanctioned which they are entitled to as their hard earned money for which they have slogged their butts out for years together. The roads aren’t great here. The living isn’t great here. So is there something defies the logic of the parents wanting to have their kids a better life may be with loads of money so that they can sustain and survive in our great nation or may be settle abroad and accustom themselves to the life style of the other nation. TZP truly put me into a state of chaos. Confused!!! Poof!!!

Obrigado

Phaedrus

DIGRESSION...... CAN I CALL IT???

....hmmmm been thinking of writing about a lot of things these days..unfortunately yet again was not able since the lack of time. Firstly what a boom on the share market index a probably 20 year high, a roaring 20k points....woah booming economy!!!... they, the gurus still predict it to go much higher and would be persistent. The then crème de la crème seem to have stabilised and the so called blue chips are roaring. Somebody said "it's the right time to invest mate".eh? Did I hear that right? May be you've got loads of money is what i thought. Well actually, me aint a guru nor can i make awesome predictions, but my gut feeling says that if tom, dick or harry thinks its the time to invest it better be in the retail industry, it's coming over the time to get into the roaring future ahead. That's not because its just my gut feeling but if one has to look at the way that retail is going in India, it definitely has a good turn out and looking ahead that the western world also is trying to invest into the Indian market there would be a definite growth for the retail. If we have organizations coming out with low prices IPO’s I guess it is that very stock one needs to purchase. Well, being diplomatic that's purely my stance. Same are my views on the food industry.
Food industry reminds me of something, it's great being a foodie I guess, especially if you're a Bangalorean. This city in itself is a diverse city. If one had to visit the Gandhi Bazaar in the Basavanagudi area, one gets to have the best veg food probably in the entire Bangalore. Well, I have to talk about the "Vidhyarthi Bhavan" . This place came into existence sometime in the pre independence era, when the revered H.Narasimhaiah talked to the owners of this age old restaurant which in itself stands as a legend right in the busy area of Gandhi Bazaar into opening this place so that it would be helpful for all those students who studied in the then National College. Time went by and this place was converted into a pure business center. Trust me, one can find a mob yet in the evening times… absolutely no need to say my father is still a devoted visitor to the dosa abode of Bangalore. Well I should confess although the taste doesn’t remain persistent as it were years ago it still does a great deal of difference when compared to a lot of other dosa places in and around Bangalore. If you are a veggie, you can have a dosa or two as a heavy breakfast and then have a sumptuous meal in the afternoon and you can still smell the dosa on your fingertips. Awesome!!!!!!!!

This crap actually started off just recapitulating a lecture that I was attending to in the same old boring PG classes of mine…… err not actually boring…… services marketing… cool prof ….nice way of handling a mundane topic…. Here was himself talking about the services offered by various multi starred hotels…. Oops me aint worthy yet. That actually triggered the worm within to think about the revenues generated across and how it actually contributed to the index high and all stuff and then followed my favorite topic of being a foodie.. …

Guess am digressing a little too much. There are innumerable joints here in namma bengaluru at which one can really enjoy his/her day out at a very minimal cost. The next ofcourse I would be bound to mention is none other than the “Mavalli Tiffin Room” or famously known by its alias MTR ….. slurp!!!! The thali served in a sliver plate and all the fluids served in the silver tumblers….. mind boggling….

Alright done with MTR…. One needs to amble down the alleys of visheshpuram, probably on a balmy evening….be cautious its most definitely not for the hygiene and the health freaks around.

I remember of one of foodventures on this street called the “Eatery Street” for probably the firangs or “ Shettar beedi” for the old forgone bangaloreans . Yes this is very much ofcourse the visheshpuram. Me and a couple of chaddi buddies strolled down the street. Woah what recepies….. it started off with the boiled sweet corn then down to the roadside dosas, name the kind of dosas….. masala, set, plain, onion, rava, rice dosa…. You read it right… rice dosa…. Dosa and a layer of rice on it roasted. Then probably you have by far the most famous bonda shops on the street followed by dry chats, sweet meat stalls, ofcourse a masla softdrink shop as well….. awesome!!!!

The street ends yet again in a food place…..V.B.Bakery probably the best bakery in Bangalore.

The entire crap seems to me just like the epitome of digression…. I don’t know… am lost yet again in transition

Will be back with more some more ameegos

Hastala Victoria Siempre

Your’s Truly

Phaedrus

Bliss... Determination......confusion.........What?

..........err yet again am here ... after a long long time.... I was on of these yet another networking portals wandering absolutely like a nomad, no goals, no aims, no destination either. I go to a profile and suddenly stumble upon a neat blog.... and yet again my alter ego .. the so called "writer" popped up saying "Hey wassup dude... you havent chalked anything for long long time?" So here I am. Can I call it a stint of inspiration?
..hmmm I am just thinking of scribbling down on my own e-pad a few thoughts of mine. Recently had been watching a repeat telecast of a music show where in one of the best singers that the country has produced ever Dr. S.P. Balasubramaniam broached another musical genius Dr. Ilayaraja. The former calls the latter "Sangeeta Raakshasa" a Musical Demon. Well I personally feel that anyone ever listened to Ilayaraja must and should second SP's opinion. What an amazing musician!!!
Remember that song "naguva nayana madhura mouna...." or "nagu endide manjinaaa hoovu..." from one of those written off movies "Pallavi Anupallavi" made by yet another cinematic genius Maniratnam. Woah!! it just blows off my head. Those are what I call ever lasting compostions .... to the eternity. I remember of a collegue talking to me about Ilayaraja a couple of years ago. This collegue of mine is around 50ish... says had been to one of the recordings of Ilayaraja. He says that this musical genius comes into the studio with hand written hand outs of the notes and hands it over to 50 odd musicians and then starts recording. He stops the recording abruptly and calls out for a violinist on the last row and says "Appu you are not playing right my man" ......yeah that's amongst 50 odd musicians playing all the instruments simultaneously. Can any one deny with this man being a Musical Genius? Its an obvious taken for granted fact that the music that he composes is one of the best. Isnt that just BLISS?
A couple of weeks back on a balmy sunday morning .... just out of the bed I switched on the idiot box....and started surfing through those absolutely stupid channels.... I saw one of my favourite and one those innumerable Theater Geniuses Mr. Prakash Belawadi all dressed smartly with another gentleman Vedam Jaishankar on a talk show. I stalled. I found that they were talking to one of those normally pretty looking woman. I followed the conversation and found that her name was Malini Prasad and she happens to be an IIM post grad working for one of those stalwarts of the organisations who also help the globe to sustain the economic world. Finance.....freak show, the toughest I found probably. This conversation led to music. I got more engrossed in the conversation. This lady is a god damn professional trained classical singer. I was taken aback for a while. Cmon, man where the hell in the world did she find time to practise music in her busy schedule. Well, yeah, she has been doing that for 14 years of her life. Yes, ofcourse this woman does have a brand name now the IIM, well she says that it's great to have that tag on the forehead of her resume albeit she would be even more happier if she had a brand name of IIM, Indian Institute of Music. Now, That's what I call DETERMINATION.
Well, time for introspection, also retrospection, I've been so called "in & out" of the theatre. I dont know if I've to douse the fire that is within yielding to the societal dominance over me, or should i quench the thirst of getting there? Should I go on to become what I aspire to become when it comes the realistic world of whom I call the fools?? I will also have a post grad degree in Marketing and IT in sometime. But does that really help the thirst of the intellect?? Do I have to pursue my art?? Do I have to pursue my ambition and make it big in the matrialistic world... Can I call that CONFUSION? let me debate within myself .. will get back with more soon
Hasta La Victoria Siempre
Adieos
Obrigado
Your's Truly
Phaedrus

Remember this.......The India's Own Fantasy town Malgudi

.........................I was just thinking .......what men can do to leave something back in the minds of the common men ..... imagine if R.K.Narayan never wrote the Malgudi Days ? Imagine if R.K.Laxman never cartooned these pics ? Imagine if Shankranna never made this film..... Inspite of all those knick-knacks about where the best directors come from .....bollywood or the south...... no one would deny giving credit to Late Shankar Nag or Late R.K.Narayan for the accomplishment of the Malgudi Days........ Prbobably there would be a few and whom you would meet seldom who would ever say that they dont remember the Malgudi Days if they ever watched the DoorDarshan in the dawn of the Television era in India. Wish these Men of Honor Live for ever physically although they would live to eternity through their work.....

Hat's Off Gentlemen

Adios

.........what a life ...........what a city.....Diversity in a Diverse City

..... been longing to write a few things from quite some time, found no time, found no enthusiasm. Don't know if this would be the state of life for a long time persisting through the existence. Well a few things happened in the last week which did actually kind of shook me from normal....... after all normal is boring.
I was just thinking about a few things that happened the last week in the city I live in. The once so called paradise, garden city, etc ... Quoting this kind of an incident may portray me to be xenophobe or a man of very low tolerance. But it does leave a dent. Getting digressed... huh...
The north indian family down my street some time back in the last week celebrated the birthday of their kid. God Bless the kid... atleast the kid with some common sense and some civic sense when it grows up to be an adult. These folks quite affluent who could probably afford a party hall never did that instead they chose to block the entire street at their surrounding with a temporary tent fixtures to celebrate. Imagine a whole part of the road being blocked, people from one side aren't able to move to the other side...... a whole lot of vehicles of the guests parked in front of every gate. A few of them right in front of my gate as well. I asked a man if he thought my place was a parking lot...... he answered in a very careless manner "cmon yaar...chalta hain todi der mein nikaal doonga" I was aghast the way he gave it back to me. I continued further.... what if I need to go out?.....says he " doosra gate hai na use karlo yaar". It pissed me off. The first thing is that some one trespassing your property, the second thing being the atrocious manner of answering with out any remorse or a sense of apology. Eventually, it took some harsh words from my end to get the vehicles moved. For all these are the people who complain about the infrastructure in my city who don't even have the least civic sense of living in a society. I had head on with the head of the family which celebrated the birthday of the kid a couple of days later..... I accosted him and queried did he find it right what they did? The same careless manner of answering comes out " to kya? hamaare yaha aise hi hota hai" and he walks off... .... man is this some place to live???? is this some kind of behaviour that one exhibits? god alone knows.....
But there was something happened just the previous week which made me feel proud that i am actually living such a diverse city..... I was working up that weekend. It was a saturday and I was doing an all night shift at the office. My friend Suraj comes up to me and says " bartiya maga ulsoorge hog barona?" I was confused as to what this guy wants to do in the grave hours of night on a saturday in ulsoor? I asked him "en maadakke?" He said today its "Ulsoor Pallakki" . Born and brought up in this city I had never heard of this thing. I asked him what it was all about. He informed me that there were a whole lot of gods and godesses were taken on a procession and people from near by villages bring the gods of their place to assemble at one temple called the "Someshwara Devasthana". Apparently the legend is that it is an occasion of wedding of two gods. Hence there is a groom's side procession and there is bride's party of procession coming from the opposite directions and meet at one place to celebrate the Marriage of the Gods. Here I accompany Suraj and I am amazed . There is a pretty tight police security, a whole lot of policemen alert, one of the main streets of the city that connects to the M.G.Road is totally blocked. folks from villages are selling their goods right in the middle of the street. People are intoxicated and dancing away to glory to please their Gods. They've broken all thresholds of enjoyment. The police is there only to maintain the peace harmony and tranquility. The men are sweating. Their shirts are sticking to their bodies. They dont seem to be bothered. They just throw themselves to the pool of enjoyment. It was truly an experience. Amazing!!!!!!!!!
The next day I woke up sometime in the evening and I see i had missed a call. It was from an old friend. I call him back and talk to him. Casually ask him what his plans were for the weekend. He says "it's sunday maga... no plan, I had a blast yesterday" I asked him what he did? says he " Maga I was totally intoxicated, absolutely out of my senses and then we all hit a discotheque and danced my heart out. Man I was sweating like crazy. My shirt stuck to my body....I was stinking when I left the place".He says "It was truly an experience".
I just started wondering about different class of people. Here was a techie who earns really good who is also intoxicated, who is also drained his sweat by dancing to some kind of a trance music. Also there are whole lot of other people out there who are also intoxicate, who also drained their sweat out dancing to the tuned of local trumpets and drums to be more accurate the "ding chack ding chack" music and dance on the same saturday night in the same city almost close to one another. Should I say is this what you call "Diversity in Diverse City" .
Then the only thing that was running on the back of my mind was "Ye Jo hain Zindagi, Ye hi to hain Zindagi"

Time to go ....will be back with some more crap later

Adieos Ameegos

Vineeta Singh takes Rs 1 Crore

........Am back yet again.... on this seldom balmy rather hot fore summer day of January to drive my sleep away following which I need to take nose dive back into my mundane work. Well just now this news hit me once again after a few days as was just going through one of those worthless magazines in the office. Vineeta Singh takes the highest ever salary of Rs. 1 Crore that an Indian Management Institute has witnessed. Brilliant!!! I said to myself. This lady is just in the fore noon of her twenty's and what an achievement. kudos woman. Well there do you see why there is a reason that no one wants to be a history professor? I guess off late this attitude has crept into people that their effort persistently and perennially is to become an inveterate money maker. I concede that money is absolutely essential to live a life but it is not mandatory after all. Anyways if this is the trend I fear that there would be a day to come where my kids wont have a history professor to tell him what happened the previous day or an Science teacher to tell me him what are micro organisms and what's the difference between a micro organism and and an unicellular organism. Come what may " you have to be a consistent billion maker for your existence on the face of earth or you will perish"
he would be thought at school. What a dreadful thought.... alas my mind doesn't remain always sane.....but this thought could well come through good.

Recently I was here in the office during an anomalous graveyard working hours and talking to one of my agents while having a break. He is just 20 years of age. The conversation was something as below

Me: Hey what's your age man?
Agent: 20
Me: How come you have started working so early in life?(thinking of some crisis endured at his home)
A: I want to make money.
M: what does your Dad do?
A: He works for the income tax department.
M: Then why would you want to earn?
A: I want to buy a pulsar for myself. You know all my friends have bikes earned out of their own money.
(Lightening struck me. I was dumbfounded)

M: What happens to you education man?
A: Let's see. It isn't necessary for me to be educated after all.

Lightening struck me again. There was a crack on my scalp. I left and said to myself what the hell would you be telling your kids what to do in life?Another revolutionary money maker.
I keep wondering was it the same way how my parents lived their youth? Were the relentlessly struggling their whole life to just earn money?

What a shame todays world of money makers put humanism into? There isn't equality of humans by the virtue of humanity. Obviously the best earned are the most humane!!!
But is this for what the kids are being brought in an environment that is most hostile to the beautiful life out there in the beautiful world. Has any kid been invoked with a passion of being a fundamental researcher or an archaeologist or a historian or a musician for a matter of fact. Recently I was talking to my sister's kid who studies in Grade IV. I asked him what do you want to grow up to be? says he Software Engineer ....... my eyebrows raised instantly..... probed more into him why he wanted to do that. says he again "big car togobeku"(i want buy a big car)
And as usual my ghosts of thoughts started haunting me - Am I being anachronistic? it all seemed more like a insolvable knot of network. I definitely know he wouldn't be able to say that to me all by himself. As i said if that has to be the mantra for his existence that has been shoved down his throat rather shoved up his brain by his folks it better be true, again am i being anachronistic? again while i am doing this my thoughts get back to Vineeta Singh, is that one crore of rupees that she earns is an achievement of her life.... soon she would be lost in the world of corporate jungle, of course a few like me who collect these kinda obscure facts would still remember her but who else? alas the biggest irony of this blog is that I myself am pursuing an PGDM degree..... 1000 profound apologies..... yet again i came across one more of my kinds and ended up in a conversation ....says he he's doing his MBA to earn more money.... sounds like "apna sapna money money" what ever happened to those hard core civil services aspirants amongst us..... is there still a dearth of the talent for the national pool of resources??? why aren't our people other than the money makers being recognized globally...... (hope they are atleast recognized locally). I dont know what the world around me is going to? would there be a day ever when the folks would tell their kids to enjoy life.... enjoy the beautiful world ever again like before. Would there ever be a care free world to live life to the fullest?? well I still dream of better days....

will write back soon again

Hasta La Victoria Siempre

Obrigado

Arrivederci

sa...ree.... maa .... ga.... ree ....sa ...ri ... ga ....ree....sa

........"सर्वेपी सूखीनास्सनतु सर्वे संतु निरामया" this was a hymn that was embedded with music that i heard on a pleasant winter morning recently...... was enthralled by the composition...... so soothing ..... what a calming effect this has on a chaotic mind like of mine. As usual the same old haunting ghost of the inane thought process started kicking off.....music was on my mind.... i have always had this regret of not being musician.... the one and only regret of my life so far.... as they often say that "u always need to look at the big picture and trace it backwards " probably i also feel i need share a few thoughts......

...........As we believe in India MUSIC is a derivative of one of the most esteemed set of scriptures that has been there in the HINDU - the "SAAMAVEDA" . I kind of feel that i need delve a little deeper into the VEDAS at this point. There are basically four of them - the "RIG" "YAJUR" "SAAMA" & "ATHARVANA". These are considered to be "APOURUSHEYA" meaning no human is a cause for this. These evolved during the epic churning of the sea what is known as "SAMUDRA MANTHANA" and ofcourse the reason behind it would be the ALMIGHTY himself. Well, the first two of them deal with the hymns and prayers while the third deals with art and music and the fourth would deal with medicinal and black magic traits .... kind of voodoo.

Guess I am digressing from what i intend to write about. This happened a few days back when me and a couple of friends were just awake through a long lasting nightout plan. We were discussing on an issue that was related to do with a portal for music. Here, I come across some wonderful portals already existing and the amount of information i gathered was just simply incredible. The next that happened to me the next morning was the hymn. I was literally enthralled by the coincidence of the events. I was telling myself the most beautiful thing that ever the world could hear to was the music and nothing else.

.............I was thinking about the preferences of people who listen to various kinds of music...... classical, fusion, karnatick, hindustani, rock, pop, jazz, metal, heavy metal, death metal, thrash, black and what not.... of course there are innumerable kind of music that is soothing, enthralling and exciting every one every single day.

.........quite debatable but the fact is that any music is based on the Indian classical note " sa..ree..ga...ma..pa...da...ni" and on the other hand if one ever looks at the western classical one can see the exact notes "do...re..pa...so.....". Unfortunately am not really knowledgeable enough to go on further with the technicalities of the music.

..... thinking about this i go deeper into my contemplation...... is it the state of mind that one chooses to listen to the apt kind of music?...... I personally listen to metal when i want be kind of pepped up.... karnatic classical when i want my mind to be placated.... hindustaani to feel rejuvenated.... fusion to get lively...... all these kinds do have the greatest effect internally on any human though being of an external source..... and then something else struck me.... the attitudes that the musicians possess while they perform......it was just a kick and i was high on music yet again..... the attitudes is not the behavior of an artist physically.... it's the attitude in which they perform ........when one hears to the great "BHARATA RATNA" M.S. SUBBULAKSHMI ..... the attitude of her voice is absolutely "DIVINITY PERSONIFIED".... listen to Dr. M. BALAMURALI KRISHNA notice the "ARROGANCE " in the voice .....listen to Dr.K.J.YESUDAS..... notice "HUMILITY".... listen to MAHARAJAPURAM SANTAANAM notice " KNOWLEDGE"...... like wise go west listen to BRUCE DICKENSON notice the "PLEASURE"
...listen to OZZY OSBOURNE ..... notice "PLACATION"...... i know people call him the psychopath of the first order though...... and how can i forget the one of the greatest of em' all JIM MORRISON...... notice "INTOXICATION"....... and so on.... it also shows like wise when the greatest of the greatest perform on instruments as well.... but at the end of the day music is really something that soothes, calms down, aggravates, excites and does everything that none of the other things in the world can ever do except probably emotions.... what if the human is stoic it doesnt do anything to him/her as well.......

...........Looking at the way my thoughts kept flowing....... the only thing that keeps playing in the back of my mind is "ENDURO MAHAANUBHAAVULU..... ANDARI KI VANDANAMULU" composed by one of the all time greats "SHRI THYAGARAJA".....so true after all........
i think i need to end on this note of writing. note not the music... ..... alas .....wish i were a musician....... but i still dream of becoming one..... as OZZY says " i am just a dreamer i dream of better days"

Adieos

viva la vista

Obrigado

HASTA LA VICTORIA SIEMPRE

CHAOS CHAOS AND MORE CHAOS....................

..........it's been quite a while since i've been around here to probably script down the random thoughts that occurs...... hmmm should i say i was busy .... ......or should is say i was facing a deficit of thinking capital.....lolzzzz..... at this point i still do not have a title for this blog.......it's still kinda chaotic..... actually i was wondering it's been quite a while that i caught up with my friends also.... still asking myself the same question ....... am i busy?? am i tired?? or am i being ignorant of the fact how much these small things could actually mean to a human life?? is that the life i am leading at the moment ...... would that be called "living" or would that be called "existing" .....bur reconciling the fact that existing could be a phase which one has to pass through for living...... may be am consoling myself.....

......... but i guess through the years to come existing would definitely become living.... just wondering if i am putting in the right efforts at the right time.... yes, now i remember recently in one of the classes the professor was talking about the very fact how we tend to give reason to others that we are busy.... at least pose a false pretension of a mere affectation of being busy....
i guess one cannot really lie to himself/herself....... i reckon the fact that sometimes we tend to wait for a friend or a cousin in US to come online for hours together but we still cannot cross the road and catch up with a friend with whom you would actually share fond memories of your childhood..... are we still busy???

i still think i am digressing from the very fact that i thought i would script about..... ok i think i was focusing on something that was quite relevant to what happened in the class yesterday..... when the prof lit the spark of globalisation ........ and it actually kicked off a spark of some thought process..... it took me to a different plane of restrospection of the recent past of my life.... as i vaguely remember it was the 5th of November 2004 .... the first fest that was held at the abode called "RANGA SHNKARA" i witnessed one of the most beautiful plays I've ever watched it was called "PARAKRAMANA" . The very meaning of the word means invasion. This is a story of Spanish invasion of the Incan Civilization . The Spanish riot was lead by the legendary warlord "FRANCESCO PIZZARO" which led to the highest ransom ever payed in the history of mankind by the kind of Incas "ATAHU ALPA" who was revered the son of the Sun God. Cut to the present day world..... rapid globalisation has'nt left is far too behind in making a similar impact on our lives....... are'nt we paying up a far more huge ransom today....could be in terms of work culture, social responsibility.... values ..... what ever you term it as..... but as my manager always says "change is the only thing that's constant" so u better adapt yourself for the change and accommodate the change rather than crib.... so the focus is on well being in the globalisation. Cut to today .... need to get back home and do some studying... cos i need to keep apace with moving ahead peers of mine..... impact of globalisation on my socialization...should i say?.....

on the back of my mind there is one song playing now...............
" am waiting in my cold cell when the bell begins to chime...........reflecting on my past life it doesnt have much time.........cos at five 'o clock they took me to the gallows pole...... and the sands of time for me are running low"......... very true the sands of time are running low for myself too...... and still awaiting to get on to the gallows pole..... and i still struggle...... stuggle for existence so that i dream of living some day ... and dream far beyond my imaginations of reality to be faced......... another song humming on the back ground now " ........... i'm just a dreamer ....... i dream my life away....... i'm just a dreamer.....who dreams of better days "........ finally i wish if some one could really say when i've got on to the gallows...... "HALLOWED BE THY NAME".

singing off
Adieos

viva la vista

HASTA LA VICTORIA SIEMPRE

Another Brick In The Wall........

............. sometimes i tell myself that i've been doing nothing offlate..... i've been a vegetable all the while.... no challenges being accepted..... no tasks taken on hand ..... where's life heading to? is that my conscious pricking me that lazing around is'nt the best thing in the world???... ... so freaked out sometimes life seems to be...... it's chaos once again.... a lotta tasks on hand be it personal professiona goal oriented or what ever..... nothing's happening...... i think need to catchup with my dudes ...i think i have to do something regarding some project i feel which needs to kick off...but am not doing any freakin thing man.... i think i am just wasting out in this dytopia called office... did i ever reckon that i still do have a life that needs to be rejuvenated?? that needs to be reventured into??..... oh man where's life heading too....

i guess that's enough for the time being.... i came back here after a long time with a different thought altogether... but the interruption of thought process...... feel so disgusted when u have soo many things on ur head and ur still not able to get to touch ne one of them either.....

........ i was thinking about the on going altercations regarding the reservation and the protests and demonstration by the young doctors..... i was thinking if this was a sincere approach or a mere affectation .... a mere ostentaion ....... but then i soon got to know that they had a motive behind their effort.... the display of the altruistic effort of these doctors are very much laudable...... there are atleast a hundred of them fasting .... for their rights to be exploited.....
the act of coming out of their classes and holding a protest against the act of reservation is truly commendable...

recently i was talking with my professors at the college about the same issue and also about the indians taking a risk to have their own start up and growing it into a vision... a lot of discrepencies cropped up during the conversation..... the typical middle class mentality and all other crap....

.......on the contrary my thought process again kicked off in a direction which has always amused me.... i was yet again thinking.... thinking of Ramesh Ramanathan of the Janaagraha... look at that man ... one evident display of altruism... i heard he left a well paying job back in unca sam's place and got back here to do something for the society.... too freakin commendable....

i was thinking y not most of us can make an effort like that..... get out of the typical mentality.... but is there a way??? one gets soo much involved in personal stuff that he or she doesnt want to ever get out of it.... one is always thinking of how he needs to grow in his company... what property he has to acquire... which school he has to send his kids .... is there a niche that we have carved that we can reckon with in the evenings of the life before hitting the sacks??? is it??

back of my mind that song from Roger Waters still keeps playing.....

All in all ur just ANOTHER BRICK IN THE WALL......

yet another confession of a chaotic mind

desculpe - for the trouble

will write back soon

Obrigado



Hasta La Victoria Siempre

viva la vista

TURMOIL.....................................

Yet again here I come. I was disturbed, very disturbed. My thought process had yet again kicked off as often rather than seldom. I yet again came in face with the reality that I was hallucinated that I was plumed by the goodies of life. Here I was disturbed yet again. I thought I was in an anachronous state with regards to time. I felt I never belonged here in the first place. I yet again was contemplating and retrospecting. As he Bruce Dickenson says “Reflecting on my past life, it doesn’t have much time”, I felt I need to a lot more in life and need to grow a lot more, reach my destination ASAP because I feel am running out of time. After all the life is always a race against time. I was again lost in the chaos of thoughts. It led me back to those great men who achieved success, shot a goal, reached their destination and rose to the epitome of greatness of what their pursuit was.

I shed my thoughts off. It was time. My shift had ended; a long night had come to an end with the rays of the sun intervening with the dark world of mine. I said to myself its time I called it a day rather a night. I got up, shed my inhibitions of facing the bright new world as they say, rather the light. I informed the boys and left for the day. I said to myself that I needed to meditate to allay my brainstorming sessions of my contemplation.

I started my bike, left to home thinking I still have to come back to the same place in the very evening of the same day.

It was balmy Thursday morning rather a hot one. I felt that the summer had not hit this day yet. I reached home with a strong will to meditate. I performed my ablutions and sat down to concentrate on a vague point somewhere in the twilight zone which I always imagine being static and tend to concentrate on the same. Oh the entanglement of bunch of threads of chaos had struck me again. I could not concentrate on what I intended to do.

I was lost; I was overcome by the destitution of power to concentrate. As I sit still trying yet to concentrate on the vague point, I still felt that I did not belong here.

I finally started meditating. But yet I could listen a faint whine in the back of my mind, the frustration still persists..... the chaos still continues…. It’s persisting so much that I am just being banal and I am just not being able to put my thoughts across. Well, as I try very hard to concentrate thoughts keep coming back. I again question myself what I am doing in life at this point of time? My MBA degree to which I couldn’t get through to haunts me, the pain that I couldn’t make it to the theatre world hurts me more. I wanted to do more in life and not just work through the night. What’s happening with my life here?

I wanted to be an actor. I wanted to perform. So I wanted to be a part of the theatre. I wanted to be rich. I wanted to money. So I wanted to do an MBA. The plan was foiled. Those guys sitting on top there decided that they wouldn’t give me a call letter. I was disappointed, frustrated, fuming, pissed off with life, I wanted to break loose from the social constraints. I thought I will spend some time with my solitude. Those people back at home whom I call them as my own started grilling their teeth at my inefficiency. They don’t understand either that I am anachronous. I don’t belong to your damn society. I don’t want to be yet another software professional. I don’t want to make million bucks an year. Of course I want to be rich, rich in my own way. I just want to be rich that I can take care of my owns self. I don’t want to be an MBA. Leave me alone, I want to get lost. I want to be just myself. Oh freak show….. What am I doing?

These things kept coming back and back again and yet again while I sit there and trying to concentrate. I couldn’t concentrate any more. I left that place returned to my solitude. My contemplation of the existence and the survival and the struggle of the life started yet again. Does this happen with every one? Or is it the chaotic state of mind that makes me think this way? I often see others; they seem so happy and gay as they have achieved what they intended to. Have they really? Or is it a mere affectation of being gay? Doesn’t he … that man at the end of my street who is software pro who takes home something like 70-80k have some dreams which he feels like realizing it? Or did he never have a dream? Was what his present state was an ambition? C’mon he has been in that industry for more than 8 yrs now… he is still a senior coder… no inventions, no innovations , no contributions from his side to the industry…. Was this his ambition? Should I’ve had a dream which I had to nurture and go on to become a coder because that paid?

This is not happening, I said to my self. I came back to reality. I still am bogged down by that chaotic turmoil. Is there an end for this? Wavering thoughts wandering thought processes…. Does life has something better to offer to me? Does it? “August summer night…..soldiers passing by ….. Listening to the winds of change” smile across on my face…. This is so chaotic… the next moment “Hallowed be thy name” was running on the back of my mind…… thoughts again…. Will my name ever be hallowed? Will it?

Chaos chaos and more chaos….. Turmoil again…… There it strikes me two sayings from my college days… those were the best days of my life……”life is a bitch ….fuck it” on the contrary “nobody dies a virgin here…. Life fucks every one” … what a fantastic example how life can take a dual role. Anyway yet again on a balmy summer Thursday morning I felt life sucks…just sucks… call it gravity or myth….but life truly sucks…. Signing off… yet again a whole lotta crap which doesn’t make sense to anybody…….

Adieos amigos…… will be back again sooon with some more crap

Arrivederci

HASTA LA VICTORIA SIEMPRE

KANASU..... A DREAM

...............I'd been lazing around for a while a couple of days back.... was watching something really stupid on the idiot box which put me off to sleep.... rather would called it a slumber.... now i reckon that idiot box show was probably the best lullaby i'd ever lent my ears in a while.... wow man!! i slept like a log really..... to catch up with some good sleep seldom makes me lucky n happy.... hmmm i think i was scripting what happened a couple of days back... .. i dozed off into a deep slumber.... i guess i dreamt... what a vague dream it was !!! my god got up sweating..... previously i was watching a movie called "BANGRADA JINKE" . I dreamt about an excavation that i was cermoniusly performing in search of some ancient treasure..... shift of scenario to more of sepia colour mode.... i was an onlooking spectator of a conspiracy of a bomb being planted on a raliway track in the late 1930's to derail the oncoming train in which the viceroy of the them british occupied INDIA Lord Irvin was travelling.... an amazing conspiracy that gave goosbumps to millions of indians..... alas!!!! the conspiracy fails ....the revolutionaries are being chased by the police .... they assume that i am one of them too... i ran as fast as i could..... i was sweating .... just a gunshot heard and a bullet whizzes past my ears... i wake up sweating profusely.... courtesy of the second part of my mindboggling and a truely adventerous dream.... "AJEYA" a biography of one of the ultimate revolutionaries and a great son to mother india...... "CHANDRASHEKHARA AZAAD".

I did my usal chores after i got up and started with the usual contemplation that i do very often.... why people dream??? what is the logic behind the dreams... ... I guess most of the people know that it is the active work behaviour of the subconscious mind while the conscious mind is put to rest..... but why humans tend to remember the horrendous dreams that they have dreamt... why not the happy and gay(no pun intended) dreams.... why not?? then suddenly flashed something i had long read and forgotten theory proposed by "SIGMUND FREUD" the father of psychology... " THE DREAM INTERPRETATION"......

Here what it is...... i was happy once again... i found an affable result for my contemplation...
there would be to concepts that come into picture when a human is dreaming...... one can actually observe this in person.... the rapid eye movement (rem) & the non rapid eye movement(nrem)..... what happens and why we tend to remember a bad dream or a unpleasant dream and why not the affable amiable pleasant dreams.... i've heard ppl say that they do not dream at all... which i guess is very false as per the theory proposed by the mama freud(local slanguage).... the unpleasant dreams are remembered since it occurs in the rem period of the sleep ..... when the unpleasant happenings and the unpleasant activation of the subconscious mind grows stronger and stronger.... which is directly related to the dream ... .. so the man although in sleep or deep slumber is not calm n poise... usually humans tend to wake up with a fright or an unpleasant feeling after a bad dream... the reason is during the rem period both the subconscious and the conscious minds are both active and work in tandem... reciprocation of data as to put it in the comp related language happens.. and this is registered in the memory if the conscious mind....

a sweet dream is most of the times forgotten since it occurs durind the nrem period where the conscious mind is at rest and there is no reciprocation or the registering of the data from the subconscious mind.... lack of transformation of data...or loss pf packets in the neural network.... nrem is a period where the state of mind is absolutely like an iceberg.....cool and very beautiful to look at... and the feel is at peace.... it's a wonderful feeling one would wish to experience while working with the conscious mind....

oh!!!!!! not again.... why do i need to write this on my blog???? is it something that everyone can relate to??? ofcourse we all r humans atleast who care read my blog... yet another random thought of a chaotic conscious mind i would say..... turmoil everywhere are the words of the day...... oh!!!! not again.... i guess sometimes my alter ego takes over me.... no no suri i better stop before crapping some dirty crap about MPD... go away now....... but this time it makes me happy and i feel good that i've stuck to one language... and makes me proud of my profess about one language (although not even a percent).... stop stop stop!!!!!!!! grrrrrrrrr

PERCEPTION..............SO RELATIVE

heege maththe bareyona antha koothe....sumne heege maththomme manassinallirodanna geechona antha..... of course am being banal antha anstha ide...yen maadodu ond ondsala mind blank aagibiduththe.... mukthadalli CSP heltaralla haage..... this is again the state of a chaotic mind i guess..... neways let's cut the crap.... sumaaru dinagala kelage yeradu natakagalannu nodidde.... B.Jayashree tandada vatiyinda Chitrapata...... maththe innondu Benaka tandadinda eka vyakti prayoga Aahata by T.S.Nagabharana.
Chitrapata was such a beautiful play which made me think think and think again about a lot of things in life. Let me give u a glimpse of the play. After the whole episode of the Ramayana and when everything was going the happily lived ever after kinds... Shoorpanaki in disguise as Seetha's friend meets her and forces to tell her about the long dead Ravana... seetha denies that she had ever seen ravana... but after a lot of coaxing and forcing she admits to her friend that she indeed had seen ravana once.... her friend who being shoorpanaki in diguise now forces her to draw a sketch of ravana.....ofcourse one has to agree that ravana was a really handsome man though..... seetha draws the portrait of ravana without his eyes.... which she believes would make him alive again.... in the absence of seetha shoorpanaki draws the eyes and the potratit comes alive as ravana again.... what a radical idea that has been expressed here in this play.... amazing athyaadbhuta..... all the while when seetha is devoted to her husband Lord Rama.... she still carries that image, that persona, that picture of another handsome man, who being cruel of unjust or what ever had just become an undeleteable file on the registry of the hard drie of her mind.... goes to say that Ramanigaagi pathivrathe aagidrunoo kooda somewhere in the back of her mind she was still thinkng about RAVANA....

Aahata......

idu innondu extreme of thinking ansuththe... ee nataka baredirodu H.S.Venkateshamoorthy
here a character called Rudraachari is introduced who is a look alike of Duryodhana.. the poor soul rudraachari is just another theatre artist who wants to make it big in life.... he heads to Hastinapura in serach of his fortune... there he is abducted by the kingsmen and then he is trained to be the Duryodhana... the concept that the creator of the play has brought out is that duryodhana could be so bad that he can risk some one else' s life for his gain....

when some one sees these two plays... one can defintiely how much of thinking has gone into each one.... and how each creator has percieved the characters... one shows the darkside of the good character and the otehr shows the even darker side of a darker character.... now when i call the characters good or dark i think this is again perception rather i would disagree with it being as a common notion though... as it seems to me that perception is so relative... does ne one think how thin the line could be between the perceptions??? I guess one who lives on that thin line could be called a perfectionist..... but do u really find perectionists at all? Well again it happens very usually...very much in every one's life... sometimes we form an opinion about someone based on our perceptions..... and we assume that we are right again the assumption of us being right also seems to be a perception.... and the perception is usually so strong that one tends to get biased about his opinion , his thinking and his thought process is kind of stagnant... why dont we open ourselves to the world beyond perception.... why dont we just throw the boundaries of perceptions and assumptions .... why cant we start being perfectionists in the world where ppl dont really stand on the line.... lets live on the line ....lets become perfectionists......

UGADI...........

yuga yugadi kaledaru ..... yugadi marali barutide... hosa varushake hosa harushava hosathu hosathu tarutide.. hosahu hosathu tarutide... yuga yugadi kaledaru.........
indu Paarthiva nama samvatsarada phaalguna krishna paksha amavaasye..... varshada koneya dina.... Da.Ra. Bendre yeshtu chennagi heliddare hosathu hosathu tartutide antha... idu nijana?? doesnt this seem like paradox every time one comes across this concept of being new every year??? does this help one to forget his past?? does this help one to forget the mishaps of the precious year?? does it?? ............... last year my friend met witha fatal accident...can i forget that?? five years before another friend was electocuited alive..... can i forget that?? naavu saamanya vaagi bevu bella tintivalla.... notice maadiddira... kahi tumba hoththu ulidu biduththe baayalli... haage jeevanadalli kooda durghatanegalu kooda alva?? when the concept of neem and jaggery is to have an equal share of joy and sorrows ..... then y does one have to go thru more sorrows... y does it take eternity to erase out of the memory chip that god has assembled in us?? does this have an answer... when one is in a jovial mood... he may not be able to share with his comapnion...cos he is deep down burried in sorrows... instead if being humane he will share the sorrows of his companion.... does life really change with the new year, with a new era?? does it?? you will still face the same routines of life... the monotony of life... was it different before when our ancesstors initiated this practise of a new year.... although by calculations the terra firma might have finished it's revolution..... lets put it this way that it has completed a cycle of 365 days... was it different then?? did they really see a change in the montony of life?? did they shed their sorrows of the previous year... did they start life afresh??
i guess am being too banal... eega yeradu cubicle pakka nanna team supervisor koothiddane.... olleyavne... he is bound by the limits too... nodtha iddane naanu yen maadtha iddini antha.. maththe varsha todakina dina avana mukha node nodtini... manealli hale taapatryagalu mugidu hogtava indina dinakke?? naale yenu chintene irolva?? My dad's eternal nagging.... my brothers high raised voice against me... my mom worrying what i am doing really in life... will i go somewhere in life?? is there an end to all these at theend of any year?? but random thoughs again... i should say wandering thoughts... lemme go back to Da.Ra. Bendre... avarige probably peer pressure annodu irlilla ansuththe..... that could be the reason he started his life afresh every year.... Bendre master as he was called by most of his contemporaries as well as his niche circle of acquaintances.... avarige anyaya aagide annodu nanna bhavane... i personally feel that he is a better and a greater poet than KuVemPu .... ee novu yugadi yenu yuganthyada vareugu irode alva?? it goes to grave with me ansuththe... yello manassina hindina tumulagalu maththe haleya gaayada kaleyanthe yeddu kaanse kaansaththe alva? i think i am talking very much relative only to me... naanu helidanalla nanna team supervisor .... avanige ee varsha team manager aagi appraisal aaglilla anno koragu yugadiyondige marethu hogtana ... i sometimes pity this guy.... jeevanadalli sihi kahi samavaagirli antha nanna tande bevu bella kodtare prati varsha... ee varshanaadru adu samavaagirli antha yochistha iddini....

yuga yugadi kaledaru ....... yugadi marali barutide.....hosa varushake ...hosa harushada hosathu hosathu tarutide...hosathu hosathu tarutide... yuga yugadi kaledaru.............

TIME..................

yochane maadtha idde... officenalliddini... tejaswige patra baribeku....customer issue resolve maadbeku...MBA samachara yenaaythu antha nodbeku....idara madhye malagabeku... need to put this body to rest for sometime alva... idakkella time yellide antha yochne maadtha idde... aaga i came across a thought some unfortunate ppl .....but very fortunate though.... yenalla maadilla adu with in a small time... they rose to fame name and undieing popularity.... first thing that came across to my mind SRINIVASA RAMANUJAM ...... avaru badukiddidde 32 varshagalu.... what a man he was what he was gifted with is beyond imagination antha.... yello yaaro helida haage nenapu.... ramanujam avara hatra ondu sanna pusthaka iththanthe.... it was filled with theorems n theorems n theorems... yaaro proof yelli swamy antha keliddakke... avaru helidranthe... y fear when i am here antha... y do u need proof whem i am with u antha.... but unfortunately he isnt ne more... but the heights to which he rose in a span of 32 yrs ... what can ne body say about him.... illinda maththe drift aaythu manassu.... ashtallade heliddara daasaru manavemba markata antha....... drift aagiddaadru yellige Che Guevara de la serna annon obba mathamana kadege... marxist communist avanu..... avanu medical student ....can ne one believe that?? nam haage naavu namm maneyoru antha iddidre... probably one of the richest men in his community aagtidno yeno..... adella hogli bidi avanu fight maadiddaadru ... yaarige... for his motherland??? no he fought for some one else... for the cause of humanity... all this in just the 40 yrs he lived..... ivarannella nodidre naavu yaatarador antha ansaththe... but i was talking to my friend a coupla days ago... i was talking about doing some funding for some kids... he had to say was the way of living... he said y dont u do that for urself first antha.... but one will definitely do something for himself all the time rite.... there has to be some extent of altruism in every one ...some where... some time... when u look back ..... one needs to see what he has given to the society back right???.... oh am deviating again... i guess this suits my blog title..turmoil.... chaos ..chaotic state of mind.... but then time again is relative not just two different individuals but to each individual himself/herself ... time frame could be long enough to do things and ould be short enough to do either.... how i am cursing my inabilty of putting my thoughts across in words ....... chaos...chaos and total chaos... is the word of the moment... will write soon more that makes sense to ppl....

creation......evolution of a single celled ameoba to the blogspot

....... err this has been probably the first ever post some one or rather myself is writing .... well i never knew how i would create a blog for myself......then i came across a friend venkatesh... he guided me to create this page of mine for myself..... idolle chikka maklu keltaralla nangnangenaa antha aa tara aaythu nodi... as i told u creation of this blogspot traces back to those days of an unicellular organism called the ameoba... which evolved to be probably multicellular organism... and so to the ape.... my ancestor... nanna kolajja...neanderthals.... paleolithic man...stone age... yen yeno...first civilisation in the basins of the river nile...the greatest of the rivers where man evolved.... then a lot again... indusvalley .... harappa mohenjadaaro civilisation... aryans dravidians... samskrutha...tamil...kannada... oh my gawd.... that's where probably i find my roots ansuththe....kannada...sirigannamdam gelge.....sirigannadam baalge... kannadada kanva b.m.sri heliddu idanna alva....howdu avare heliddu...... so rightly said..... but tracing back again... yelli yelli idelladara moola.... hege huttithu aa ondu unicellular organism...adakke munche yeniththu... what was there before that... who was there.... who lived??? was the terra mater filled with vacuum??? how can be something be created with nothing?? so how can something evolve out of nothing??? i guess this makes one to contemplate the existence of the supreme natural...super natural.. inhumanely natural force ...which has created that unicellular organism... whom i call GOD..... u call it wahtever i choose to call him the GOD... he exists ...definitely exists....matter cannot be created from anti matter or vacuum... so the super natural force is there and most definitely there..... i guess i will write some other time some more